Archives: December 2007

Personal Transformation: Words to Let Go

Our words create our worlds. 

Positive affirmations, prayers, spells, whatever you call them, what we speak has a greater potential of turning into reality than the words we don’t speak.  That’s why I try hard to never utter words or phrases that I don’t want to come true. And I’ll deny or negate negative phrases when someone idly tosses them my way…like, you’re going to get a speeding ticket–you’re due.  Delete, delete–not me!

Here are a few words I’m letting go of–removing from my vocabulary–now:

1.      FEAR. I’m letting go of fear in the traditional sense of the anxiety and doubts we focus our thoughts on. Someone once told me FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.  Translation: A situation only appears fearful because of the interpretations we place on it.  I’m changing my interpretation of FEAR to Forgetting Everything’s All Right. 

2.      WORRY.  Worrying is stewing without doing.  Worry is also a fear-based emotion.  Playing off of Forgetting Everything’s All Right, I’m letting go of the emotional angst of worry.  After all, worry is only a question of what’s going to happen in the future.  From now on I’m going to “wonder” what will happen.  Instead of “I’m worried about what’s going to happen,” I choose to think (and speak) “I WONDER what’s going to happen.”  It’s open with positive expectation.

3.      BUT.  When’s the last time you were “but”ed in a conversation?  And how did it make you feel?  Negated, right?  And how about the popular phrase “yes, but”?  It sounds as if someone is agreeing with you but they’re not.  They’re negating your words (and consequently your opinion and you).  Instead of “but,” why not the word “and”?  “Yes, and have you thought of this?” Or, “yes, and I see it this way.”  AND is a word that affirms the other while opening them to another way of looking at something.  Your way.

Let go of these words and you’ll let go of a bit of negativity.  

Perturbation to Percolation: Personal Transformation using the Power of Words

Like a champagne bottle, I feel like I’ve been uncorked. Two weeks ago I was released from a j-o-b that didn’t suit my divine purpose.

After 16 years of running my own business—seven of those as a motivational speaker–I was working for someone whose passion and mission seemed to match my own. As I worked with this person for eleven months though, I discovered just how far apart we were on our philosophies, the everyday execution…and even our language.

It was a Team Meeting that helped us both see the light…

My boss had handed us all a copy of a slide from one of our corporate slide show trainings. It had the word “pressure” across the top in deep red. Under that was a black line across the page that represents “you.” Under that line were bunches of white dots which reminded me of little atoms of energy floating beneath the surface. They all sat atop the word “perturbation,” typed bold in blood red. (Let me save you a trip to Perturbation is the root word of “perturb,” meaning: 1. throw into confusion or disorder. 2. disturb mentally; agitate.)

The print visually represented one way for someone to “pop” and have a major break-though. That’s one way we help our clients—help give them a new perspective to move the person forward. After all, there’s nothing like a bit of angst to help you look at life differently. But is that the only way?!

When asked what I thought, I said I preferred the word “percolation” to “perturbation.” The emotional state of “perturbation” was uncomfortable and– I was cut off. Interruptions were common in our office. I was told that was the language we used in our office and culture. When I shut my mouth and deferred, he pressed me to share my opinion.

So the speaker in me, the spirit in me, the person who has studied language and how to use words to inspire, encourage, and motivate people since she was 15 yrs. old, shared her opinion.

Our words create our worlds, I began, and when we use words with negative energy patterns anchored to them, we feel negativity. Confusion, sadness, anger, anxiety are all words that can be associated with “perturbation.”

“Percolation” is the same energy movement as “perturbation” without the negative emotions attached to it. To percolate—like a coffee pot—is neutral. And for some of us even, a percolating pot of coffee summons up good memories and feelings. Energy is still moving behind the scenes, under the line, inside, causing us to grow.

People can have major breakthroughs in their life in moments of great joy as well as pain, I went on to explain to the Team. We create our working environment, our lives, and our worlds by the language that we use. I preferred the positive word.

The meeting ended and an hour later I was fired for “differing philosophies.”

No more “perturbation” for me.

And actually what’s been percolating in me for months now has been shaken to the core. But the coffee has turned to champagne and I’m fizzy, effervescent, bubbling, and sparkling like the Almond Champagne I recently sampled–positive that what I just came through was a breakthrough—of the uncorked kind.

Turn off fear; turn on activity

It’s 4:07 a.m. and I’ve been awake for almost an hour. It started as a jolt out of sleep. I had heard something. When my mind cleared enough to realize I was in my bedroom, I noticed the hallway light from under the door. Who was up? One of the kids? I didn’t remember the light being on when I went to bed.

As I got up to investigate, winky-blinky sleepy-eyed cats met me at the door. Apparently they hadn’t heard it. They were wondering why I was up. The kids bedroom doors were closed and a peek in revealed sugarplum dreams.

Too late now for sleep. I am totally awake. There’s a task I’ve been putting off. This task; my very first blog–my forage into new waters, a new direction for my business and my life. And as always, the financial pressures of raising three kids on my own are on my mind. Will this new direction pay the rent, put food on the table? Not only that–babies need shoes!

This feeling is familiar–unfortunately. Fear. Someone once told me: Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. It seemed such a logical explanation for such an intense emotion. And even though the evidence “isn’t real,” it sure feels that way. It feels as real as that light in the hallway. I know the spiritual path behind fear. It is here to motivate me, to enlighten me, to push me ahead on my path, but why is it that it brings such angst?

Sitting here, immersed in the light, doing what I do best–writing, I feel some of the tension slipping away. Just writing about it dissipates the emotion and by redirecting my activity I move through it.

Motivational speaker Sandra Smith, of Aspire Productions, said to me a couple years ago when I was in this exact same transition, “change your behavior.” I wanted desperately to be out of the business transition I was in and into stable financial situation. I was tired of falling short every month. Credit card debt was the price I was paying and it was all consuming. Fear took hold of me and I couldn’t get past. I wanted the emotion to stop. Sandra told me I was focused on the wrong thing. She told me to stop trying to “turn off” fear, but instead, keep the emotion and “turn on” activity. Just doing something productive to move my life and business forward would change the intensity of the emotion.

It worked then, and I know it can work now. Except one thing is different today. I’ve come to understand that fear is a common emotion, and thanks to Karla McLaren in her book Emotional Genius, I can now honor that emotion and use its energy to propel me forward–if I focus on changing my behaviors.

I’ve also since discovered that a better acronym for fear is: Forgetting Everything’s All Right. Time to switch my focus to what is right–for me. And now that I’ve gotten this first post, the baby step behind me, perhaps I can just turn off the fear, like the hallway light, and sleep peacefully knowing that everything IS all right. And I’ve done one thing that feels right.