Quantum Surprises begin by Breaking the Habit   Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

by Dr. Joe Dispernza.

 

Dr. Joe’s a master at simplifying quantum physics so we can understand HOW energy creates our realities. I’m half-way through the book and I’m excited to get to the “how to” exercises. (There are a few realities I’m planning on creating.)

 

As Yoda would say, “You must unlearn what you have learned.” Breaking the Habit is teaching me why my heart, mind, and body hang on to past experiences—especially the hurts—and continue a feedback loop of stinkin’ thinkin’ that cripples my progress forward. Dispernza refers to it as “re-mind”; when your mind plays the same story again and again.

 

“The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.” Who said that?

 

Dipernza’s view is that change creates quantum surprises. And quantum surprises are the Universe’s way of honoring your intention. But you can’t be too specific. You have to anticipate in thought and with feeling specifically what you want, but then you have to let the Universe fill the need.

 

Break the habit of old thoughts, become very clear in your intent, and stand back and let the energy fall together.

 

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might get what you need.” That was Mick. J

v:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} w:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);}

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

party.gifSurprise! It’s a party!…

      It’s a typical Wednesday morning work day. You’ve been at your 8:00-4:00 job for the last six months but today is different—a company picnic you knew nothing about! You’re getting a three-hour lunch break that includes a short presentation by the CEO and staff, and a catered B-B-Q.

 Here’s what happens:

      The Boxes begrudgingly show up…then disappear. They slip slowly into the background, sit in the back row, avoid chatting with others. The b-b-q buffet, a pleasant surprise for most, isn’t fully appreciated by the Boxes who have packed their own lunch. They just want the party to be over so they can return to their routine.

      The Squiggles?! SHINE! They love surprise parties–anything to disrupt the monotony of another day in the office. They’ll flit from table-to-table, chat with everyone, and, when it’s time to go back to work, will figure out a way to keep the festivities going…into Thursday, Friday, and the weekend.

      The Triangles, ever-focused on getting tasks done, will arrive late and leave early—of course checking things off their “to do” lists coming and going. Efficient to the core, the Triangles will use this party time to speak with people about projects. They’ll figure out a way to keep working.

      The Circles, only slightly perturbed they weren’t consulted to help plan the party, will play hostess to all those around them. They’ll show smiling faces to the presenters and clap loudly in the appropriate places. They’ll make sure everyone gets seconds, help pack the left-overs, and send everyone off with a hug. They’ll spend the rest of their work day sharing stories about the other people at the picnic.

      Surprise parties? Great for Squiggles and Circles. Triangles appreciate them occasionally. Boxes…not so much.

PsychoGeometrics: Sunday Morning BreakfastImagine a typical Sunday morning. Breakfast is on the mind of each of the communication styles, Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. A simple suggestion of “going out for breakfast” gets different reactions:

Creatures of habit and ritual, Boxes (because “Square” makes some people uneasy), Boxes awake at their normal time and begin their customary routine: bathroom time, grooming time. If you’re going to disrupt the routine, now is the time to interject.

Cue the Triangle and the Squiggle…

Triangles most usually have a Sunday morning agenda–a list of projects longer than the day, and mentally they’ve already finished breakfast and begun the first task. In reality they haven’t eaten their first bite. They’ll have breakfast at home, if they can delegate the task to you, or just get it themselves on their way to Home Depot. Triangles really don’t care whether you go out to eat or stay in—–as long as you do it FAST!

Squiggles, having declared loudly their intent to sleep until noon, suddenly pop awake at 7 and are out of bed with the chickens. Like Triangles, they have a few things on the “to do” list, that probably includes Circles, but be certain the day is about fun and people–and fun. Breakfast down the road is a great idea and the Squiggle is probably the one that suggested it. Unless he/she sleeps til noon.

Circles could be just as apt to issue a breakfast invitation as a Squiggle, and chances are they have a standing Sunday morning play date, and usually with old friends and family. Or a Circle will be the one whompin’ up biscuits for a sleepy crew. And if a Circle takes time to make breakfast, you’ll find the finishing touches–pretty plates, the newspaper and a small trinket–evidence of their affection. Or the Circle might just take a kitchen break and suggest a nearby restaurant. They will take care of those around them, rest assured.

In the meantime, with the Triangle out the door, the Squiggle and the Circle round up the accessories or the kids. The Square is just now catching on, and they have questions: Where are we going? What do they serve? How far away is it? Do we have gas in the car? Did you know gas is $4.00/gallon? When did you want to leave… They haven’t committed to going to breakfast yet.

A typical Sunday morning breakfast with the shapes.

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

PsychoGeometrics: Social Media Shaping UpFace-to-face communication is tricky business, but when you’re standing toe-to-toe with someone, chances are their physical presence, facial expressions, actions, and tone of voice reinforce the true meaning behind their words. With the written word, the reader is at a disadvantage. The words carry all the weight—or do they?

The Social Media platform that a person selects to relay a message is a clue to their communication style. When you consider the 4 major social media platforms (Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube) and cross-reference that with the 4 major communication styles (Squares, Triangles, Circles, Squiggles), you get a few clues to understanding.

Triangles are fast-paced project people. They’re driven by accomplishment and the need to get things done—quickly! They love to delegate but are sketchy with details. The 140 character limit makes Twitter an excellent tool for Triangles. In addition, Triangles thrive on leadership and recognition so they’ll have a strong presence on Linkedin. Triangles are quick to embrace new technologies once they understand the benefits to the bottom-line. But Triangles are slow to switch from email to social media not wanting to tackle the learning curve until absolutely necessary. Once they make the leap, though, they expect you will too.

Squiggles are fast-paced people people. They are independent thinkers and visionaries. They thrive on crafting, creating, and developing. They’re emotional and spontaneous—and a perfect match for the real-time audience of Twitter. Squiggles are animated and theatrical so YouTube offers unlimited possibilities as well. They’ll maintain a limited profile on Linkedin for professional reasons but will gravitate toward Facebook for lengthier conversations.

Circles will find their Squiggle friends on Facebook and probably spend the majority of time interacting with other Circles—also on Facebook. Circles are slower-paced people people. They are dedicated team players tapped in to the grape vine. They nurture those around them by investing their time. In addition to Facebook, you’ll find them on YouTube. Linkedin won’t provide the social stimulation they’re looking for—too professional, but a smaller social network, Flickr for example, provides in-depth relationships.

Squares, the slower-paced project people, will take the time to learn the social media platforms but see little reason to use them away from work. Squares will have a strong profile on Linkedin but not spend much time interacting. They might use Twitter to relay short burst of info to a team member but prefer email where their correspondence is private (relatively) and allow for lengthy explanations. They appreciate the teaching/training role of YouTube and will spend time educating themselves.

As the social media platforms continue to evolve, the Triangles and Squiggles will adapt quickly. Circles and Squares will join hesitantly but enjoy the camaraderie and ease of operation that only social media can bring.

If you’re new to this information, you must visit Dr. Susan Dellinger’s site. The lights went on the day I heard her  explain the different communication styles and their corresponding shapes. Things made a bit more sense; people made a lot more sense. I had a tool which helped explain why people said and did what they did. It explained human behavior to me in the most elementary of mediums: shapes. I’ve used this theory, psycho-geometrics, every day of my life since. Learn it from my textbook mentor, Dr. Susan Dellinger.

st1:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) }

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

PsychoGeometrics: Please Pass the Ketchup

There are 4 communication styles: Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. There is a transitional shape, the Rectangle, that complicates the mix, but basically Rectangles are people in transition—a new job or a new relationship, for example. But those Rectangles, for the most part, take on the communication qualities of one of the other four shapes: Squares, Triangles, Circles, or Squiggles.

Want some Ketchup with those Fries?

So let’s say the four shapes are out to lunch together. They all have hamburgers with French fries and they all like ketchup on their fries. Here’s how the scene takes shape:

The Square (the Box actually, because no one likes to be called Square)… The Box will pick-up the ketchup bottle and begin a step-by-step process, thinking to themselves (you will NOT hear this dialogue out loud), “I’d really like ketchup on my fries.”

Step 1: uncap the bottle by twisting the lid with just the proper amount of torqueage,

Step 2: hold the bottle at a 45% angle,

Step 3: apply the correct amount of pressure to the sweet spot and tap the bottle with an even distribution of pressure,

Step 4: wait patiently for ketchup to fall easily and precisely on desired spot,

Step 5: recap the bottle,

Step 6: recall history lesson—“ketchup was invented in 1801 by Sandy Addison whose recipe was later printed in an American cookbook, the Sugar House Book.” REMEMBER, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ANY OF THIS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. BOXES WILL BE THINKING THIS TO THEMSELVES.

Triangles will quickly and emphatically be the first to grab the ketchup bottle and BANG on the bottom until the ketchup comes out. OR, they could just point to someone and say, “YOU–pour me ketchup.”

A Circle will take the ketchup bottle and exclaim loudly, “Oh, I LOVE ketchup on my fries.” They will then talk you through the application process, “But I hate how long it takes. Don’t you?” They’ll tap the bottle and keep talking, “It takes FOREVER to get the ketchup out. When I was a little girl…”(insert long story here that involves a brother/sister or family member). Once a Circle has ketchup, they will offer ketchup to those around them, “Would you like ketchup? How about you, ketchup? Does anyone need ketchup?” They’ll make sure the table is cared for.

The Squiggle will grab a French frie, consider the ketchup bottle, but then scoop a fry-full of ketchup off your plate! OR they might just ask for mustard.

When ordering burgers and fries, think twice about setting your Boxes and Squiggles side-by-side. 😉

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

Psycho-Geometrics: Communication Styles

     The first time I listened to PsychoGeometrics by Dr. Susan Dellinger, the lights went on and the bells went off. Dr. Dellinger, using the geometric shapes of squares, circles, rectangles, triangles, and squiggles, simplified communication for me forever. I understood I was a squiggle—and that explained so much! PsychoGeometrics categorized my behaviors and justified them. When others—not like me–criticized the way I spoke or interacted, I only understood I did it differently then they did. I didn’t know my behaviors and actions were a particular “style,” and that there were many others like me!

     Let me break it down for you. (And then you really have to check out the PsychoGeometrics website.)

If I were to line the 5 shapes up on the wall, point to the wall across the room and say, “Okay, friends, get to that wall,” here’s what would happen:

     The Rectangle, often in a transitional state due to personal upheaval, would  adapt. A Rectangle will evolve into and react like one of the other 4 shapes: triangle, square, circle, or squiggle.

     The Triangle, the fast-paced project person, will race across the room and reach the wall first. They’ll check their watch and wonder what is taking the other shapes so long to cross the room. The Triangle will wait impatiently for a short time before they’re on to their next task.

     The Circle, the slower-paced people person, will unite the team: “Let’s all take hands and cross the room together. Does anyone need a cup of coffee or a light jacket?” The Circle encourages and takes care of each member of their group. Don’t mistake them for gossips; they are open-hearted and kind and great on a team.

     The Squiggle, the fast-paced people person, will simply disappear. They’ll eventually end up across the room and on the wall, but they’ll have finished a task or two, and might even have started another on the way. The Squiggle is optimistic, agreeable, and a big picture thinker.

     The Square is the last shape to leave the wall. The Square, as a matter of fact, doesn’t have enough information yet to leave the wall. They have questions: at what time should they cross the room and arrive on the other wall? At what point precisely should the stand? How should they get there? Is there a procedure or system in place for crossing the room? The Square needs additional information and time to apply strategic thinking and logic.

     When the task is simple—cross the room and get to the opposite wall—the communication styles of the 5 shapes are evident. Those styles are just as obvious in the working world, and it’s easy to know who you’re talking to when you know what behaviors to look for.

     Check back for more PsychoGeometrics and how it applies to the social media platforms of Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, MySpace, and You Tube.

Hand-Up     I heard the cry outside my bedroom window this morning about 8. I knew it was a child and they needed help. I ran out the front door and saw the little, blonde-haired girl lying on her tummy crying. She’d tripped and fallen on the concrete walk and her hair was in her eyes. She’d fallen, but she hadn’t gotten up.

     I called out and cooed over her, “oh Baby, are you all right? Are you okay?” I tried to comfort her as I picked her up. She was tiny, a kindergartener, I’d bet. I set her on her feet and crouched down low beside her to assess the damage: two slightly skinned palms and one slightly scraped knee. No blood. We gave the knee a rub and gave our hands a shake.

     She’d stopped crying and I asked her name. Jade. Was she on the way to school? A nod and an uh-huh. Did she need to go home to see her Mom? No. She was with her sister and friend (who stood watching, with or without concern, I couldn’t tell).

     What did I say? I know what I wished I’d said. I wish my “Mother Mary” had kicked in and I’d fussed over her a little more: dried her tears with my sleeve, kissed her little palms and little knee, given her a big hug.

     I wish I’d told her she was like a super ball and had great bounce-back ability. That she’d grow up to be a hell-of-a bouncer. Or that she was like Tigger to have a “bouncy-trouncy” day.

     I wish I’d shared Clarrisa Pinkola Estes with her: “Refuse to fall down. If you cannot reuse to fall down, refuse to stay down, lift your heart toward heaven like a hungry beggar, ask that it be filled and it will be filled. You may be pushed down. You may be kept from rising, but no one an keep you from lifting your heart toward heaven—only you. It is in the middle of misery that so much becomes clear. The one who says nothing good came of this is not yet listening.”

     I wish I’d gone Zen on her 6 yr old ass! “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.”

     But I didn’t.

     Instead, I calmly said, “It hurts to fall sometimes, doesn’t it.” Jade answered with a nod and another uh-huh. “Just get up and keep going, that’s all you have to do.” That’s what I told her. Life’s most basic lesson during a fall-flat-on-your-face moment; a skin your knee moment. Just get up and keep going. I’m sure if her Mom had been there, she would have told her the same.

     “The day gets better from here,” I told her as I sent her off with her sister and friend. It felt good to parent someone else’s kid. If something happens to one of my three kids one day, I hope there will be another Mom there to help.

    We all need an occasional hand-up. And tears are allowed! I know it’s my Sagitarius side, but just get up and keep going.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could take all words at face value? Fortunately we know that words are only one portion of the underlying message. Inflection, intonation, and body language also help us interpret and translate hidden meanings.

Take extra care and truly tune-in when you hear these words:

(1)Fine. Fine is most commonly used in two contexts, the first often in response to the question–how are you? Humorists would have us believe fine stands for: Fussed up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. To self-help gurus, “fine” is the status quo and they suggest we respond with “great,” or “terrific” as opposed to “fine” to increase our energy and vibration. Fine has also come to symbolize the end of a conversation, usually when both or all parties are at a standstill. According to a recent funny email I received in reference to communication between the sexes,the author suggested “fine” is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you (men) need to shut up. It was attributed as a female response, but I’ve heard men fall back and punt with “fine” as well.

(2)Nothing. I often default to “nothing” when I just don’t have the energy, stimina, or patience to explain what’s going on inside my head. For example: what are you thinking? Nothing. A better response might be “it’s too complicated to explain.” John Gray, author of Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus, states men and women have very different uses for this word. Women can use it as a diversionary tactic. Men really tend to be thinking of “no thing–nothing.” “Nothing” is like a safe, mental box for men. The email I received said, when women use the word, “nothing” is the calm before the storm. Nothing really means something, and you should be on your toes if you hear it. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

(3)Whatever. I hate to be “whatevered,” and I use the word rarely, and only with great frustration with even greater trepidation. “Whatever” is a dismissal, it means you are no longer listening to, honoring, or respecting the other person’s viewpoint. It symbolizes a communication breakdown or lack of interest in continuing the conversation. According to the email, it translates to “you’re an idiot and I’m not listening to you.” Use “whatever” cautiously. Interpretation will be up to the listener.

Avoid these common “watch out” words and enjoy smoother communications.

Two days ago I woke up and looked different. I seemed to have morphed into my Mother overnight.

I actually noticed it as I passed the bathroom mirror at 4 a.m. I dismissed it as sleepy eyes playing tricks on me in the dark, but when Steve remarked the next morning that I looked like my Mom–well there it was, not just staring me straight in the face, but staring others in the face, too. So, what happened over night? What can cause a person to look like his or her self one day and someone else the next day? And why didn’t I wake up looking like Terry Hatcher or Linda Gray (two actresses that others have said I resemble.) Why my Mother?!

I guess it’s no secret why I woke up looking like my Mother–as the commercial goes, “You can’t fool Mother Nature,” the biggest Mother of them all. My question, however, is: why today? Physically, I’m not that much different then yesterday. I didn’t cut my hair into an “old lady” style or gain 20 lbs over night. So I have to wonder what would have my Mom’s face staring out the mirror at me today? Was it the expression? Had I seen that expression on her face before? Am I at a place in my life that matches a stage my Mother went through?

I’m in a relatively new–just coming up to a year–relationship with a man I can see myself growing old with. Whoa–hold the presses. Did I somehow hook up “togetherness” and growing old together in my psyche and alter my physical appearance in doing so? Or is it because my Mom, still married to my wonderful, devoted father wears a certain expression and I’m wearing that expression myself? My facial features couldn’t have changed that much over night, but wasn’t that my Mom’s nose staring back at me in the mirror? And could my expression have changed based on the experiences I’m having with the man in my life?

I do know this different look has caused me to look differently at my life. Why? What caused the shift? And, if I’d stop right now and look in the mirror, who’s face would I see? Is it experience, is it wisdom? Is it knowledge, belief, understanding, acceptance? Is it a cosmic message from my angels to tell me to call my Mom? Is it a reminder of the similarities my Mom and I have, and are they coming to the surface now because of the similarities I have with my 16 year old daughter. (A raving beauty on her own.)

Steve did tell me I’ve been hard on myself this past week. A little more critical of my appearance–of which I don’t give too much thought. I look like I look. And I like how I look. But this whole “different face in the mirror” is causing me to look at my life. I even picked up Marianne Williamson’s new book, The Age of Miracles, about mid-life transition. Just a quick skim of the table of contents tells me we will be lovingly accepting ourselves and morphing our thoughts to living our best life with this new found knowledge. Maybe this is just time’s way of telling me to take a closer look. My Mom has pretty much gotten everything she’s even wanted in life, and at 74, she projects Sophia Loren style beauty.

Have I too–gotten what I want? Or is it time to move toward it? Maybe that’s what I’m looking at. Or what’s looking back at me: the question–what are you waiting for? Are you ready to move forward?

Hmmm, I think I’ll start with a trip to the salon.

Is there anything more exhausting than having to get up? The alarm goes off, we hit the snooze, and then lie in bed preparing ourselves for getting up and out of bed the next time it goes off.

“I want to wake up, not get up,” Steve said to me one night as I was setting the alarm. It made perfect sense to me. Who doesn’t enjoy a Saturday or Sunday morning when you can sleep until you’re done? Few of us have that luxury daily. For me it’s getting the kids on the bus, or making an early morning networking meeting, or coffee with clients. The good news, being self-employed, I have no office to report to at a certain time–besides my own home/office.

I find my agenda for the day sets my mood and perspective. If I’m going to do something that I’m not highly motivated to do (translation: I don’t want to do it), I feel proportionally exhausted. Just the thought of having to get up and do it makes me tired. Those are the multiple-snooze mornings.

Then there are those days that I can’t wait to get to my agenda–the “to do” list. Those days I wake up on my own–no alarm clock needed–the reason for getting up is also an internal “wake up” call. The day is stretched open to opportunity.

If you’re in reasonably good health, are getting to bed on time, have no external reason to set the alarm, why not let your body and mind determine the wake up time? And get up time?

And if you just can’t get up perhaps it’s not an alarm problem at all. Could the true “wake up” call be the need to change your daily agenda?