Suicide Hotline, 800 273-8255, Trigger Alert!
If you are suffering, call the Suicide Hotline: 800 273-8255

It’s okay to kill yourself, is the theme of A Star is Born movie.

And what a kick in the teeth it is. It’s okay to kill yourself IF you love someone enough and you’re afraid you’ll damage their career. What the fuck?! Who produced this? Was it Bradly Cooper and Gaga? Or are they just the ones that perpetuated—YES, PERPETUATED THAT guilt trip: IF you love someone enough, it is NOT okay to kill yourself! They are NOT better off without you! THAT’s the LIE depression and especially that suicidal voice in your head will tell you. ‘It’s okay to commit suicide and leave the planet because those around you would be better without you.’ And that just isn’t true.

The movie A Star is Born is telling that story.

And I don’t remember that in the original with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson. John Norman does indeed die in the end, but it’s a car crash. HE DIDN’T HANG HIMSELF for fucks sake. He died a tragic death, but not at his own hand. At the hand of fate, or God, or the Universe, whatever you believe. If that was the message intended, that he crashed his car on purpose, I guess I missed that in the remake of the musical remake of the original. If you’re interested, google “A Star Is Born wiki.” I’ll have to go back and watch the end of the other movie. Maybe it did end that way. And if so, maybe THAT’s when I was conditioned to believe that my family, my kids would be better off without me.

I’ve had those thoughts, twice in my life. They were dark, low spots. And I was truly convinced I was hurting those around me by being me. I had shrinks telling me I was bipolar and that I wasn’t all right. I don’t remember anyone telling me I was mentally ILL, but they put me on lithium. Yes, One-Flew-Over-The-Cookoo’s-Nest lithium. I turned into a zombie, my own personal version of the walking dead. I did that for two weeks, but my spirit bust loose and through the haze. I KNEW there was more for me to do than trudge through life in a big-pharma-induced coma. I told the Doctor I WOULDN’T be taking drugs. At least not THAT drug. Today, I use natural cures and exercise and a whole lot of yoga to combat depression, and that nasty little gremlin in my head that says others would be better off without me? That little fucker is gone. I know my family needs me, and I’m here for the long haul. On fate, God and the Universe’s good graces.

I’m here to say, don’t kill yourself. Whatever you are going through WILL eventually be okay, because if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. Maybe that’s a warped philosophy to many. For me it’s been proven again and again in my life. There’s also your business, my business, and God’s business. I didn’t say we’d each necessarily see the happy ending in this lifetime; that might happen from the other side. That’s God’s business. It’s a mystery. It’s thee mystery. And someday I’ll know. Someday, we’ll all know. Until then, I’ll tend to my own business—and yours! If you’ll let me. I’m here with an ear. There are many of us. And we need you to do your part. You need to speak-up. Talk! And since I’m not available 24-hrs a day, the angels at the Suicide Hotline are, and they are ready to help:

 800 273-8255

I guess Bradly Cooper never got that message. He should have called.

I was disappointed in A Star Is Born. And I was angered. Cooper and Gaga were awesome together, but creepy after. The song “Shallows” was overplayed. Watching them together made me really uncomfortable. It was weird. Thumbs down. I give it one star. I hated it. I hated everything having to do with it, the remake. It reminds me of the darkest part of myself and my many lives.

Life is hard. And it hurts sometimes.

But. It is also precious! And life is a gift! And having kids, friends, a partner, a passion, a purpose, and a job make the hard times bearable, because tomorrow IS another day: another chance to get it right. IF you don’t buy into the LUDICROUS THOUGHT THAT THE ONES YOU LOVE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU.

That’s pure bullshit.

That’s what THIS star says.


P.S. Why Worry when you can Wonder. Read more…

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Something Wonderful Will Happen to Me

 “I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

I’ve heard Sandra Smith, motivational comedienne and president of Aspire Seminars, start her seminar day many times with this mantra. On many occasions I joined her in singing it at the top of our lungs:

“I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

Doesn’t it just make you feel positive, expectant, and hopeful?!

“I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

Yes, I can just feel it.  

And even more, I believe PEOPLE are often the bearers of these wonderful things that are going to happen to me today.  A smile from a stranger, an “atta girl” from a colleague, a free piece of cheesecake just because someone felt generous. When something wonderful happens to me, it usually happens through people. Some days, even angels come disguised as people; aka the gentleman who fixed my flat tire. People fill my life with joy.  

I’m amending my mantra:

“I believe some ONE wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

Hmmm, I think this will work. Say it with me:

“I believe some ONE wonderful is going to happen to me today. “

“I believe some ONE wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

I believe it.

Do you?