Hand-Up     I heard the cry outside my bedroom window this morning about 8. I knew it was a child and they needed help. I ran out the front door and saw the little, blonde-haired girl lying on her tummy crying. She’d tripped and fallen on the concrete walk and her hair was in her eyes. She’d fallen, but she hadn’t gotten up.

     I called out and cooed over her, “oh Baby, are you all right? Are you okay?” I tried to comfort her as I picked her up. She was tiny, a kindergartener, I’d bet. I set her on her feet and crouched down low beside her to assess the damage: two slightly skinned palms and one slightly scraped knee. No blood. We gave the knee a rub and gave our hands a shake.

     She’d stopped crying and I asked her name. Jade. Was she on the way to school? A nod and an uh-huh. Did she need to go home to see her Mom? No. She was with her sister and friend (who stood watching, with or without concern, I couldn’t tell).

     What did I say? I know what I wished I’d said. I wish my “Mother Mary” had kicked in and I’d fussed over her a little more: dried her tears with my sleeve, kissed her little palms and little knee, given her a big hug.

     I wish I’d told her she was like a super ball and had great bounce-back ability. That she’d grow up to be a hell-of-a bouncer. Or that she was like Tigger to have a “bouncy-trouncy” day.

     I wish I’d shared Clarrisa Pinkola Estes with her: “Refuse to fall down. If you cannot reuse to fall down, refuse to stay down, lift your heart toward heaven like a hungry beggar, ask that it be filled and it will be filled. You may be pushed down. You may be kept from rising, but no one an keep you from lifting your heart toward heaven—only you. It is in the middle of misery that so much becomes clear. The one who says nothing good came of this is not yet listening.”

     I wish I’d gone Zen on her 6 yr old ass! “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.”

     But I didn’t.

     Instead, I calmly said, “It hurts to fall sometimes, doesn’t it.” Jade answered with a nod and another uh-huh. “Just get up and keep going, that’s all you have to do.” That’s what I told her. Life’s most basic lesson during a fall-flat-on-your-face moment; a skin your knee moment. Just get up and keep going. I’m sure if her Mom had been there, she would have told her the same.

     “The day gets better from here,” I told her as I sent her off with her sister and friend. It felt good to parent someone else’s kid. If something happens to one of my three kids one day, I hope there will be another Mom there to help.

    We all need an occasional hand-up. And tears are allowed! I know it’s my Sagitarius side, but just get up and keep going.

Bouncing Ball   I’ve been on a free-fall. Just read the last few posts. Nothing cheery to write home about, no silver linings. The harder I fought it, the more stressed I became. I kept searching for a way to MAKE it end, and finally it has.  

   I’m moving. Letting go of my home of the last 10 years to move in with a girl friend so I can financially make ends meet. I can no longer do it alone. That decision for me, was hitting bottom. I love my space, a small condo near a mountain lake. This is where I’ve raised my family. There’s sadness is leaving.

   But, and it’s BIG! Letting go of $1200 in rent and utilities will allow me to live again. Yes, it’s on unemployment, but it is a little help until I find a better paying job or one of my business endeavors pays-off. It’s breathing room and a sigh of relief. I’ve been carrying this money monster for so long!! 

   “The farther you fall, the higher you bounce,” is what Million-Dollar Mary Kay National Sales Director Monique Todd used to tell me. I know it’s true because the momentum has already shifted. I’m looking forward for the first time in months. Looking forward to the first snow when I’ll be tucked into my new space, surrounded by a lot of my favorite things. (She’s got the space! What a blessing!) Looking forward to affording gas and lunch out with friends as I work my businesses and network for a job. Looking forward to having a little money to buy boots and jackets for the kids. Looking forward, that’s the key.

   I predict this buoyant excitement will last awhile; I’ve been falling for awhile. But, if the laws of physics hold true, then a bounce equal to the fall is happening now! And it’s just getting started! Goodbye fear, regret, and worry. Greetings courage, hope, enthusiasm, and spunk!  Time to enjoy the bounce… bounce… bounce… bounce.…

I’m always looking for the positive–especially in the stink of things. I look for the horse in the pile of manure, the proverbial silver lining, and believe the Universe has got my back–even when I don’t see it.

I believe our words create our worlds, and the simple turn of a phrase can turn the energy of a situation from funky to fabulous. Please don’t think I’m advocating positive thinking as the only option for dealing with stress. Since I trust in the Law of Attraction, it works for me–mentally and especially emotionally. I know good things are coming my way if I can stay open to the good. For those who embrace skepticism, cynicism and pessimism–if it’s working for you, go for it. Perhaps if expectations are low, you’ll always be pleasantly surprised. Hmmm, there’s a certain logic to that I must admit. I can see why so many embrace that thinking.

Coping with stress can be … tough … challenging … a bitch! And I’ve recently run into that with economic realities. Owning my own business and raising three kids has never been tougher. And I’ve been doing my share of stressing.

But the time for stressing is over. Stress just means my world is too limited. I don’t have enough solutions to the new problems in my life. Stress simply means I’m caught in old patterns of thinking and acting. To bring change to myself and the world, I have to begin with myself.

It’s time to stretch. Stretch to new ways of doing business, new ways of making money, new ways of serving people. It’s time to stretch my mind–look for new perspectives. Time to stretch my legs–increase my physical stamina.

Stressed out to stretched out simply means moving past what’s familiar to being comfortable in the unknown. We don’t have to change everything, we just have to expand what we are already doing–do just a little bit more. Push our brains a bit further. Believe that negative can become positive–and that’s when life gets interesting.

Our words create our worlds — words I’ve been using since I discovered the connection between intent and language 24 years ago. It was Brian Tracy in his self-help audio program The Psychology of Achievement that taught me the power of the “I am” phrase.

I am powerful. I am confident. I am easy-going and patient. Simple translation: we are what we say we are.

When I wanted to write my first book. I didn’t say, “I want to write a book, I want to write a book.…” I said, “I am a writer, I am a writer, I am a writer.” Through the process of owning it, embodying it, and embracing it, I became a writer—and then a published author.

I learned just recently the fun, logical, spiritual reason for why the “I am” affirmation phrase works so well.

“I” stands for intent. What is it that you want to be, do, or have? What are your deepest desires?

“A” stands for attention. What we give our attention to—think about, talk about, write about, focus on, work towards—comes true. It…

“Manifests.” It becomes real in our life.

Intention, attention, manifestation. Language is the bridge between wanting and having. Speaking what you want, out loud, in words that say “I already am it or have it” are key.

Today when I get the opportunity to introduce myself, I use the following positive affirmation: I am the courageous, outrageous, audacious, and loquacious Lindee Brauer.

Just saying it makes it so.

It’s 4:07 a.m. and I’ve been awake for almost an hour. It started as a jolt out of sleep. I had heard something. When my mind cleared enough to realize I was in my bedroom, I noticed the hallway light from under the door. Who was up? One of the kids? I didn’t remember the light being on when I went to bed.

As I got up to investigate, winky-blinky sleepy-eyed cats met me at the door. Apparently they hadn’t heard it. They were wondering why I was up. The kids bedroom doors were closed and a peek in revealed sugarplum dreams.

Too late now for sleep. I am totally awake. There’s a task I’ve been putting off. This task; my very first blog–my forage into new waters, a new direction for my business and my life. And as always, the financial pressures of raising three kids on my own are on my mind. Will this new direction pay the rent, put food on the table? Not only that–babies need shoes!

This feeling is familiar–unfortunately. Fear. Someone once told me: Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. It seemed such a logical explanation for such an intense emotion. And even though the evidence “isn’t real,” it sure feels that way. It feels as real as that light in the hallway. I know the spiritual path behind fear. It is here to motivate me, to enlighten me, to push me ahead on my path, but why is it that it brings such angst?

Sitting here, immersed in the light, doing what I do best–writing, I feel some of the tension slipping away. Just writing about it dissipates the emotion and by redirecting my activity I move through it.

Motivational speaker Sandra Smith, of Aspire Productions, said to me a couple years ago when I was in this exact same transition, “change your behavior.” I wanted desperately to be out of the business transition I was in and into stable financial situation. I was tired of falling short every month. Credit card debt was the price I was paying and it was all consuming. Fear took hold of me and I couldn’t get past. I wanted the emotion to stop. Sandra told me I was focused on the wrong thing. She told me to stop trying to “turn off” fear, but instead, keep the emotion and “turn on” activity. Just doing something productive to move my life and business forward would change the intensity of the emotion.

It worked then, and I know it can work now. Except one thing is different today. I’ve come to understand that fear is a common emotion, and thanks to Karla McLaren in her book Emotional Genius, I can now honor that emotion and use its energy to propel me forward–if I focus on changing my behaviors.

I’ve also since discovered that a better acronym for fear is: Forgetting Everything’s All Right. Time to switch my focus to what is right–for me. And now that I’ve gotten this first post, the baby step behind me, perhaps I can just turn off the fear, like the hallway light, and sleep peacefully knowing that everything IS all right. And I’ve done one thing that feels right.