Another Year; Another ResolutionIt’s January 13th and I’m just now posting my New Year’s Resolutions—but no hounding or judging allowed! I’m been out practicing.

This year? No more looking for the magic—we are it!

I’m it; you’re it. We are all it. We’re magic and comical and well-intentioned and ever-hopeful, or maybe that’s just me.

It seems I’ve spent a lot of my life living in the bad. And now that I’ve got more years behind me than ahead of me, it’s time to embrace each day. That means finding the good that’s all around. It’s not that I’m a Pollyanna; I know bad is around me, too. But when it comes to what I can focus on, I choose good. I choose to see the magic. In me; in you. In all we say and do.

That’s this year’s resolution.

Well, one of them. J

It’ll All Be Okay in the End

Apply this to every unresolved situation or relationship in your life:

It’ll ALL be Okay in the End.

If it’s NOT Okay, it’s NOT the End. 

Time to rest easy and let the Universe work its magic.

 

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Moving

           I was cleaning, condensing, and preparing for a move. I’d been in my home with my three children for 10 years. In the last three years my boyfriend had joined the mix and his 21 year old son stayed for short stints here and there. Tommy was currently staying.

            I was moving into a girlfriend’s open basement. I had room for a few of my favorite things (actually, quite a few) but no room for fluff. Reducing to half my household content was the goal.

I had a staging area in the garage. As the closets got cleaned and cleared, every item was placed into boxes and piles: trash, goodwill/arc, Tommy’s pile, Jeff’s (my ex) pile, kid piles (Kaiti, Kyle, Justin), long-term storage, and immediate access pile.

            Tommy had been bouncing back and forth between Colorado Springs, Monument, Denver, and Fort Collins. He traveled light and most of his things he’d left in storage—in my garage. His pile was growing. He was looking forward to a steady home-base in the Springs and was collecting his things when I showed up to help him sort.

            I was lamenting on how easy it was for him to simply grab a few items and go. If only I were so unencumbered! I was sorting through ten years of memorabilia.

            As Tommy was deciding what to take with him, I requested “If you don’t want to take it, then please don’t leave it,” not wanting to move one more item than necessary. He felt the same. Tommy took time to choose what he needed for his new place, sorted through items no longer needed and cleaned out as well.

           

           We should all be required to clean up and out every ten years or so. Efficiency experts will say “what you own owns you,” and if you want to simplify your life, cleaning up and moving out is freeing.  We all need to take responsibility for our junk: use it or get rid of it.

          

          And no one gets to leave their junk behind!

No End In Sight     I’m having a hard time getting to the end–the end of a sentence, a thought, the situation, the reality. I guess it’s because there really are no “ends” in my life right now. I’m working with beginnings.

     I was discharged from my job in August—an ending for sure. But it opened up an opportunity to do something else; exactly what is being determined. I’m checking Monster, Craigs List, Linked-in, and Facebook daily. Can’t say what I’ll be doing a year from now, but writing feels good in the interim.

      I lost my house the end of October—another big ending. I said goodbye to my home of 10 years, made arrangements for my teen boys to stay part-time with me and part-time with their dad, sent my boyfriend out to find a full-time job and moved in with a girlfriend.

     I’d love to finish the story, but I can’t even get to the end of the paragraph. I don’t know what’s coming next. It’s that simple. I can start a sentence but I’m not sure how to finish it. And I’m not forcing myself to! I’ve given myself permission to start chapters, paragraphs, sentences without the pressure of finishing. How freeing! There’s no pressure to draw any conclusions, determine any next big steps, or finish anything. Not even this darned blog if I don’t feel like it!

     Today is for starting. No ends in sight. Just beginnings.

Minnie “Boom Boom” Mahoony     I do a lot of different things: I write, I speak, I train. I design websites, brochures, and other print pieces. I organize events and promotions. I keep a home, am raising three teenagers, and lending my time and voice to the pro-medical marijuana movement. My folks’ generation referred to this as “Jack of All Trades.” It was used to describe a person who could do many things at once, but implies Jack (or Jill) does none of them well. And… I guess that makes Jack about average.

     The average Jack (or Jill) doesn’t have the luxury of being a Master these days. The average Jack (or Jill) can’t get by with doing only one thing well. He has to do them ALL well, and not just well, but exceptionally well. I’ve been conditioned to believe if you’re exceptional at what you do, you are to be valued. It pays to be an expert: the more you know about a specific topic, the higher your value—and your paycheck! But I’m finding that’s not as true these days. Employees are assigned a multitude of tasks. A small business owner has to manage all areas of the business–product, service, customers, finances, taxes, industry regulations, etc… One key to success in today’s market is to do as many things possible as well as you can possibly can.

     There’s no manual or on-line help forum for what’s happening now–unless you count the one being created daily by people living it. (Think Google and Wiki.) And that proves my point percisely. You must know many things, must be good at many things but you can’t wait until you “know it all” to move forward.  I’m learning as I go but I don’t have time to get a Masters or to spend years “mastering” a topic, to learn how to juggle like Minnie “Boom Boom” Mahoony (pictured here). We become Masters by doing–it’s time to dive right in. My folks’ generation call it “Baptism by fire.” Learn the task as you do the task. I call it a typical day in the life of Jack and Jill of all trades.

    

The world is a changin’. Change is a good thing! Yet it is amazing how many of us fear change. Nothing shakes up an office like the phrase, “there are going to be some changes around here!”

Laurence Boldt in his book, Zen and the Art of Making a Living, says “the fear of ‘changing’ is the fear of screwing up; the fear of ‘change’ is the fear of getting screwed.” The distinction is subtle and valid: the first is proactive–afraid that you’ll make a mistake in action; the second is reactive–the fear that life is coming to get you. Life takes a balance of both–going out and getting what you want and sitting back and letting abundance overtake you.

‘Change’ is a Universal constant. It’s inevitable. The key to handling change is being ready and capable–by improving ourselves daily! Do something every day that gives you more confidence or a feeling of well being–read something new, talk to someone with a differing opinion, get your hair done, take a walk…the list is endless. The goal is to build our self-image so we can handle the changes coming our way–and make a few of our own.

When we make small changes to ourselves, and in our daily routines, we can “be the change we wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

Two days ago I woke up and looked different. I seemed to have morphed into my Mother overnight.

I actually noticed it as I passed the bathroom mirror at 4 a.m. I dismissed it as sleepy eyes playing tricks on me in the dark, but when Steve remarked the next morning that I looked like my Mom–well there it was, not just staring me straight in the face, but staring others in the face, too. So, what happened over night? What can cause a person to look like his or her self one day and someone else the next day? And why didn’t I wake up looking like Terry Hatcher or Linda Gray (two actresses that others have said I resemble.) Why my Mother?!

I guess it’s no secret why I woke up looking like my Mother–as the commercial goes, “You can’t fool Mother Nature,” the biggest Mother of them all. My question, however, is: why today? Physically, I’m not that much different then yesterday. I didn’t cut my hair into an “old lady” style or gain 20 lbs over night. So I have to wonder what would have my Mom’s face staring out the mirror at me today? Was it the expression? Had I seen that expression on her face before? Am I at a place in my life that matches a stage my Mother went through?

I’m in a relatively new–just coming up to a year–relationship with a man I can see myself growing old with. Whoa–hold the presses. Did I somehow hook up “togetherness” and growing old together in my psyche and alter my physical appearance in doing so? Or is it because my Mom, still married to my wonderful, devoted father wears a certain expression and I’m wearing that expression myself? My facial features couldn’t have changed that much over night, but wasn’t that my Mom’s nose staring back at me in the mirror? And could my expression have changed based on the experiences I’m having with the man in my life?

I do know this different look has caused me to look differently at my life. Why? What caused the shift? And, if I’d stop right now and look in the mirror, who’s face would I see? Is it experience, is it wisdom? Is it knowledge, belief, understanding, acceptance? Is it a cosmic message from my angels to tell me to call my Mom? Is it a reminder of the similarities my Mom and I have, and are they coming to the surface now because of the similarities I have with my 16 year old daughter. (A raving beauty on her own.)

Steve did tell me I’ve been hard on myself this past week. A little more critical of my appearance–of which I don’t give too much thought. I look like I look. And I like how I look. But this whole “different face in the mirror” is causing me to look at my life. I even picked up Marianne Williamson’s new book, The Age of Miracles, about mid-life transition. Just a quick skim of the table of contents tells me we will be lovingly accepting ourselves and morphing our thoughts to living our best life with this new found knowledge. Maybe this is just time’s way of telling me to take a closer look. My Mom has pretty much gotten everything she’s even wanted in life, and at 74, she projects Sophia Loren style beauty.

Have I too–gotten what I want? Or is it time to move toward it? Maybe that’s what I’m looking at. Or what’s looking back at me: the question–what are you waiting for? Are you ready to move forward?

Hmmm, I think I’ll start with a trip to the salon.