Language Archives - Lindee Brauer

“What the Hell” is Always the Right Answer

‘Ever notice how “what the hell” is always the right answer?”

Marilyn Monroe

And why not? The answer begins with the question and comes full circle.

“What the hell” is an open-ended question. The intensity of the expression implies a breach of belief has already occurred: you witness something for the first time, someone shares a confidence and changes your perspective… “What the hell?” translated is: I need more information.

What the hell? As in, ‘what the hell just happened?’

What IN hell will also suffice as an appropriate question. Again, a request for more information. (Don’t worry your mind with where “Sam Hell” is for now.)

The challenge is to embrace the “answer” with the same enthusiasm as the question. Believe it, open to it; assimilate, alter, and adapt the information you get from the question into your consciousness and use it to make decisions—stronger decision, now.

“What the hell” is always the right question…and when a logical answer alludes you, “what the hell” is always an appropriate response.

No need for a “right” answer. No need to avoid a “wrong” answer. No need to take sides or play favorites. Do as Marilyn did–go with an ubiquitous response. Play ‘open and in need of convincing.’ Go with “what the hell.”

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It’ll All Be Okay in the End

Apply this to every unresolved situation or relationship in your life:

It’ll ALL be Okay in the End.

If it’s NOT Okay, it’s NOT the End.

Time to rest easy and let the Universe work its magic.

T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak

Truth. Truth is in the eye (or brain) of the beholder. One person’s truth is not another’s truth. And, just because it’s true for you does not make it true for me. Can you really know truth for yourself, let alone another?

Helpful. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” How many times has friendly, “helpful” advice been misinterpreted and twisted into tangled, hurt feelings? Even suggestions given with an open, loving heart can be misconstrued. “Helpful” is also in the mind of the beholder. Just because it’s helpful to YOU, does not mean it’s helpful to ME.

Inspiring. If you want to inspire me, keep your words to yourself and SHOW me. Lead by example and I’ll naturally be inspired. Who are you and where are you going?

Necessary. Who determines that? Who are you to question my path, my purpose, my motives or my actions? Sure, if I’m walking too closely to the ledge and I’m in eminent danger, I might need a course correction. But who’s to say a fall (or a leap) from that ledge is not the best action for me?

Kind. “If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.” Words of wisdom by parents, teachers, educators, and philosophers alike, all extolling the virtues of saying nice things to each other. THIS one I believe in and this one I practice. And practice is truly the word, because this is hard to do. Unkind words, mean-spirited and abusive, don’t just hurt the person they’re directed toward, but the person saying them as well. We’re all familiar with the “I’m rubber and you’re glue” defense when someone says something that hurts.

When someone says something unkind to you, however, it’s because they think they’re speaking the TRUTH. They think they’re being HELPFUL—and INSPIRING. And, they probably think the words are NECESSARY—for your own good.

But what you really have—when you THINK before you speak—is a whole lot of judgment being wrapped up in a KIND words burrito. It doesn’t matter what kind of flavorful, colorful wrapper you’re serving up or what kind of watered-down words you’re using, judgment still comes through—and that’s what truly hurts.

Perhaps we should go one step further: If you can’t THINK of anything nice, then don’t think anything at all.

A Beautiful Girl and Colorful World

The World Is Grey

A poem by Justin Brauer

The words that spilled out of her mouth were colorful, beautiful, inspiring. As they spill from her soft lips they pass through the microphone, out of the speakers and splash out upon the crowd as these colorful words hit the ears of eager listeners. The words pass in one ear as colorful as the next, but as they pass through they come out dull and just words, like the world.

Inside the heads of the eager listeners are seas of color, individuality, creation, creativity. The sea of colors become so large and abrupt that every color leaks out from their eyes, seeping in every combination of colors possible showing the crowds’ true colors. Showing how words can change a person, a crowd, a nation.

The nation explodes of color from one girl’s soft, beautiful, colorful words. Igniting a revolution of color, an eruption of every color possible from every one spilling color back to the dull colorless world.

PsychoGeometrics: Please Pass the Ketchup

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There are 4 communication styles: Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. There is a transitional shape, the Rectangle, that complicates the mix, but basically Rectangles are people in transition—a new job or a new relationship, for example. But those Rectangles, for the most part, take on the communication qualities of one of the other four shapes: Squares, Triangles, Circles, or Squiggles.

Want some Ketchup with those Fries?

So let’s say the four shapes are out to lunch together. They all have hamburgers with French fries and they all like ketchup on their fries. Here’s how the scene takes shape:

The Square (the Box actually, because no one likes to be called Square)… The Box will pick-up the ketchup bottle and begin a step-by-step process, thinking to themselves (you will NOT hear this dialogue out loud), “I’d really like ketchup on my fries.”

Step 1: uncap the bottle by twisting the lid with just the proper amount of torqueage,

Step 2: hold the bottle at a 45% angle,

Step 3: apply the correct amount of pressure to the sweet spot and tap the bottle with an even distribution of pressure,

Step 4: wait patiently for ketchup to fall easily and precisely on desired spot,

Step 5: recap the bottle,

Step 6: recall history lesson—“ketchup was invented in 1801 by Sandy Addison whose recipe was later printed in an American cookbook, the Sugar House Book.” REMEMBER, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ANY OF THIS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. BOXES WILL BE THINKING THIS TO THEMSELVES.

Triangles will quickly and emphatically be the first to grab the ketchup bottle and BANG on the bottom until the ketchup comes out. OR, they could just point to someone and say, “YOU–pour me ketchup.”

A Circle will take the ketchup bottle and exclaim loudly, “Oh, I LOVE ketchup on my fries.” They will then talk you through the application process, “But I hate how long it takes. Don’t you?” They’ll tap the bottle and keep talking, “It takes FOREVER to get the ketchup out. When I was a little girl…”(insert long story here that involves a brother/sister or family member). Once a Circle has ketchup, they will offer ketchup to those around them, “Would you like ketchup? How about you, ketchup? Does anyone need ketchup?” They’ll make sure the table is cared for.

The Squiggle will grab a French frie, consider the ketchup bottle, but then scoop a fry-full of ketchup off your plate! OR they might just ask for mustard.

When ordering burgers and fries, think twice about setting your Boxes and Squiggles side-by-side. 😉

Words to Live by

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Number 9 of the “24 Interludes of Life” as shared on Telling It Like It Is, a site which promotes “things you need to know about raising children, relationships, marriage and parenting.”

A careless word may kindle a strife
A cruel word may wreck a life
A timely word may level stress
A lovely word may heal and bless

What if all of your words were lovely?

Language to Avoid: Three “Watch Out” Words

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could take all words at face value? Fortunately we know that words are only one portion of the underlying message. Inflection, intonation, and body language also help us interpret and translate hidden meanings.

Take extra care and truly tune-in when you hear these words:

(1)Fine. Fine is most commonly used in two contexts, the first often in response to the question–how are you? Humorists would have us believe fine stands for: Fussed up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. To self-help gurus, “fine” is the status quo and they suggest we respond with “great,” or “terrific” as opposed to “fine” to increase our energy and vibration. Fine has also come to symbolize the end of a conversation, usually when both or all parties are at a standstill. According to a recent funny email I received in reference to communication between the sexes,the author suggested “fine” is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you (men) need to shut up. It was attributed as a female response, but I’ve heard men fall back and punt with “fine” as well.

(2)Nothing. I often default to “nothing” when I just don’t have the energy, stimina, or patience to explain what’s going on inside my head. For example: what are you thinking? Nothing. A better response might be “it’s too complicated to explain.” John Gray, author of Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus, states men and women have very different uses for this word. Women can use it as a diversionary tactic. Men really tend to be thinking of “no thing–nothing.” “Nothing” is like a safe, mental box for men. The email I received said, when women use the word, “nothing” is the calm before the storm. Nothing really means something, and you should be on your toes if you hear it. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

(3)Whatever. I hate to be “whatevered,” and I use the word rarely, and only with great frustration with even greater trepidation. “Whatever” is a dismissal, it means you are no longer listening to, honoring, or respecting the other person’s viewpoint. It symbolizes a communication breakdown or lack of interest in continuing the conversation. According to the email, it translates to “you’re an idiot and I’m not listening to you.” Use “whatever” cautiously. Interpretation will be up to the listener.

Avoid these common “watch out” words and enjoy smoother communications.

“I AM”: the phrase that makes it so

Our words create our worlds — words I’ve been using since I discovered the connection between intent and language 24 years ago. It was Brian Tracy in his self-help audio program The Psychology of Achievement that taught me the power of the “I am” phrase.

I am powerful. I am confident. I am easy-going and patient. Simple translation: we are what we say we are.

When I wanted to write my first book. I didn’t say, “I want to write a book, I want to write a book.…” I said, “I am a writer, I am a writer, I am a writer.” Through the process of owning it, embodying it, and embracing it, I became a writer—and then a published author.

I learned just recently the fun, logical, spiritual reason for why the “I am” affirmation phrase works so well.

“I” stands for intent. What is it that you want to be, do, or have? What are your deepest desires?

“A” stands for attention. What we give our attention to—think about, talk about, write about, focus on, work towards—comes true. It…

“Manifests.” It becomes real in our life.

Intention, attention, manifestation. Language is the bridge between wanting and having. Speaking what you want, out loud, in words that say “I already am it or have it” are key.

Today when I get the opportunity to introduce myself, I use the following positive affirmation: I am the courageous, outrageous, audacious, and loquacious Lindee Brauer.

Just saying it makes it so.

Fear and the Law of Attraction: change the word…change the behavior

I woke up this morning with the “scareds.” With February rent looming, my business is moving forward…and I’d like to find one or two clients with enough work to cover the bills for one month. Meat and potatoes clients I call them. Then the rest of the clients and projects and money are gravy. That would take the pressure off. And I wouldn’t wake up afraid…scared…with the “scareds.”

Being fully awake and conscious of my thoughts, I knew I was hedging toward worry—a negative emotion. And as all students of the Law of Attraction know, when you think negative you get negative. Emotion is simply an outer reflection of an inner thought.

It was time to change the thought and the emotion. I grabbed the closest self-help book beside the bed, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra. As I dug in, grasping for an idea that would pull me from worry, my sweetheart and business partner rolled over, “what are you reading?” he asked.

I told him what I was reading, how I was feeling, and what I was trying to do—turn the emotion and thought around.

And then he asked the question that accomplished both of those tasks at once. He said, “Are you worried or are you aware?”

In a flash, worry was gone—replaced by a word that carried no emotional voltage—a neutral word that allowed my mind infinite possibilities. Worried or aware? … Yes, I was aware.

Aware put me in “observer” role, in “decision-maker” role. I was aware of the situation: the bills due each month, the desire to attract new business, the desire to do what I do best—write! Using the word “aware” got rid of the fear. It put me back in control and set me in action.

When it’s time to change the emotion, it’s time to change the word. When you change the word, you change the thought. Change the thought and you change the emotion. Change the emotion and you change your behaviors–your actions.

So…are you worried or are you aware?