I find myself worrying about my dad today. He’s 82, in the hospital, and recovering from surgery. This is day 24.

The time for worry should be over. He’s made it through the tough part, the surgery; now, he’s just waiting for all the vital organs to wake-up. He’s on the mend. But I find myself worrying regardless.

Regardless, being the key. Regardless of looking at the situation logically and calmly, I’m looking past the good news and dwelling on the bad. That’s what worry is: a thought of bad things unwanted.

So instead of focusing on my feelings or thoughts of my dad’s recovery, I’ve begun thinking about what I’m worried about. “I’m worried” has become “I think.” If I’m free to truly think anything I want—and of course I am—in this case, today, I’ve been thinking about all the bad things that could happen. What would happen if I focused on the good? I wonder.

I wonder when Dad will be released from the hospital? I wonder what his faithful nurse, companion, and wife–aka MOM–are doing right now? I wonder how he’s getting through his Father’s Day in the hospital?

I worry, I think, I wonder. All questions of what will happen in the future. Bad, neutral, good. For me, thinking, focusing-in on my thoughts, expectations and outcomes makes it easier to think positively, optimistically, and hopefully.

We know things in life will go wrong, but why not focus on what could go right?

Why worry when you can wonder?

 

 

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T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak

 

Truth. Truth is in the eye (or brain) of the beholder. One person’s truth is not another’s truth. And, just because it’s true for you does not make it true for me. Can you really know truth for yourself, let alone another?

 

Helpful. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” How many times has friendly, “helpful” advice been misinterpreted and twisted into tangled, hurt feelings? Even suggestions given with an open, loving heart can be misconstrued. “Helpful” is also in the mind of the beholder. Just because it’s helpful to YOU, does not mean it’s helpful to ME.

 

Inspiring. If you want to inspire me, keep your words to yourself and SHOW me. Lead by example and I’ll naturally be inspired. Who are you and where are you going?

 

Necessary. Who determines that? Who are you to question my path, my purpose, my motives or my actions? Sure, if I’m walking too closely to the ledge and I’m in eminent danger, I might need a course correction. But who’s to say a fall (or a leap) from that ledge is not the best action for me?

 

Kind. “If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.” Words of wisdom by parents, teachers, educators, and philosophers alike, all extolling the virtues of saying nice things to each other. THIS one I believe in and this one I practice. And practice is truly the word, because this is hard to do. Unkind words, mean-spirited and abusive, don’t just hurt the person they’re directed toward, but the person saying them as well. We’re all familiar with the “I’m rubber and you’re glue” defense when someone says something that hurts.

 

When someone says something unkind to you, however, it’s because they think they’re speaking the TRUTH. They think they’re being HELPFUL—and INSPIRING. And, they probably think the words are NECESSARY—for your own good.

 

But what you really have—when you THINK before you speak—is a whole lot of judgment being wrapped up in a KIND words burrito. It doesn’t matter what kind of flavorful, colorful wrapper you’re serving up or what kind of watered-down words you’re using, judgment still comes through—and that’s what truly hurts.

 

Perhaps we should go one step further: If you can’t THINK of anything nice, then don’t think anything at all.  

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I’m a sucker for the word “panic,” and with good reason. I’m in love with 6 men from Georgia, collectively known as Widespread Panic. Many call them Widespread; many more call them Panic. They’re a rockin’, slammin’ southern rock jam band from Athens; I’ve been to 115+ shows, and their bluesy, rock riffs just keep getting better! When most think “panic” is a bad thing, I experience it as just the opposite. Thousands of fans groovin’ and movin’ riding half notes and full notes to a rapturous high. Just 4-5000 of my closest friends, dancing our problems away, letting the anxiety and fear fade, trusting all our questions will be answered. Yes, why worry when you can Panic?

I’ve only had one panic attack in my life. I couldn’t breath, I almost passed out. It was so scary that just the thought of having a panic attack makes me–PANIC! Who likes feeling so out of control?! I thank Michael Houser, original guitarist for WP known for his panic attacks, for my new perspective. Rumor has it (according to TEWSY, The Earth Will Swallow You) Mikey said, “If we’re going to be known as Panic, I’d rather be known as Widespread Panic.” Together, he and the band put his/their fears behind them and today there are hundreds of thousands of fans who are lifted by their music.

Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it.  ~Henry S. Haskins

Michael Houser lived Haskin’s quote. And because he did, I can too. With any thought of fear, anxiety, or emotional discomfort, I just put on the Widespread Panic and dance!

I’m deep into study of the Seven Universal Laws of Success. This is my third time (in the last two months) reading Sandra Anne Taylor’s book, Quantum Success. I’m not new to the Law of Attraction, having first heard about it 23 years ago in a tape series by Brian Tracy, The Psychology of Achievement, and I’ve spent a good deal of my professional career as a motivational speaker learning and living those principles. Yet today I’m having a hard time living in “potential,” and I’m wondering what to do with these “negative” thoughts and emotions that repel success (according to Taylor). According to all Law of Attraction gurus, negative thoughts repel what you desire. And today I’m feeling the pressure to turn negatives into positives.

I’m also a fan of Karla McLaren. Her book Emotional Genius simplifies and clarifies the link between thoughts and emotions. She doesn’t believe in “negative” emotions, but in the motivational power in all feelings. Anger (an emotion typically labeled “negative”) is not to be suppressed but an emotion that signals a psychological boundary breech. Anger serves the person who feels, processes, and takes time to understand it. Anger is an internal warning system–like when the “service engine” light illuminates the dash board of your car. This “negative” emotions carries some positive benefits once processed.

Today I’m searching for the positive in my negative mind set, while still working with the Seven Universal Laws.

1) The Law of Manifestation: consciousness creates reality. You get what you think about, talk about, dream about, focus on and take action toward. A good question to ask yourself is: what am I creating now? So, what am I creating now with my exploration into “stinkin’ thinkin”? Hmmmph, an article for all of us to learn from. That’s a negative into a positive–this could work.

2) The Law of Magnetism: we attract the same energy we put out. Our dominant thoughts–plus the emotions behind those thoughts–create an energy field and vibration that becomes our calling card. Today, I’m feeling uncertain–not my usual trusting, optimistic self. I’m feeling…human. Many people live their life in fear–how am I going to pay the bills, what if I get sick, who will take care of my kids? My Mary Kay friends say, “fake it ’til you make it,” but I don’t want to put a happy face over “uncertainty.” According to the Law of Attraction, there is no fooling the Universe. And don’t I have to acknowledge uncertainty before I can turn it around? Maybe that’s all this is–the Universe is asking me to step up and declare my intentions.

3) The Law of Pure Desire: our intentions must be pure, our motivations genuine, healthy, and honoring to ourselves and others. How do you want to serve, and what is it you want to accomplish? I had a keynote presentation today–Generational Communication for the Community Associations Institute–(let me shorthand it for you–love your neighbor!) I’m a passionate, gifted speaker and communicator when it comes to communication topics. I spent 8 years on the road, traveling coast-to-coast, living that passion through keynotes and corporate trainings. I did 8-10 full-day seminars a month. Now, I do 1-2 40 minute keynotes monthly. Perhaps this feeling is the Universe calling me to do more of what I do best? That’s definitely a negative into a positive.

4) The Law of Paradoxical Intent: reflects the Law of Magnetism in warning that we’ll get a return on our negative energy as well. If we’re desperate to make something happen, that repulsive vibration will push it away. Desperation creates the paradox, or the opposite, of the original intent, leading us to failure. Now, this is the Law that baffles me most. How can you want something so badly, and still be denied? And this is where I have to call in the theories of Karla McLaren. What if negative doesn’t so much attract negative as move you back to positive? Perhaps the Law of Paradoxical Intent keeps actions true and on the right course?

5) The Law of Harmony: when we consciously choose to create balance and align ourselves with the Universe, our intention and energy open the floodgates of Universal abundance, allowing us access to all the insight, power, and blessing that the world has to offer. We must take complete responsibility for our daily choices, live in balance, accept ourselves, and let go of control. Maybe the lesson today is just that easy. Am I holding on too tight? Am I living in trust or feeling I have to make something happen? Did I live my passion and purpose today? Oh yeah! Then today is a success and tomorrow will take care of itself. Negative into positive–I’m feeling better already.

6) The Law of Right Action: our energy is self-perpetuating in the world. Value, honor, and dignity increase in our lives to the same degree we promote them in our surrounding environment. The question needed before every task: “is this honoring to myself and others?” I guess the question I have to ask myself today: is this feeling of uncertainty honoring to me? If I believe in what I’ve learned in Emotional Genius, then of course it is! Isn’t this nothing more than a gut check? What’s really important to me? My “negative” with the right question has become a “positive.”

7) The Law of Expanding Influence: our energies expand and directly influence the world at large. Our intentions for harmony expand in the consciousness of every human being. Translation: energy is contagious. I’ve known this for some time. I’ve been thanked over and over again for my energy. I’m very accepting of others–even more so of them than myself at times. I just love people and I’m genuinely curious and interested. I like to listen as much as I like to speak. I think that’s the energy that people enjoy–me acknowledging and celebrating them–flaws and all! I know that when I make people feel good about themselves, they go out and do the same to others. And that’s what I was put on the planet to do.

And here we are at the end of the Seven Universal Laws, and I’m feeling better and a lot more certain. Certain that tomorrow is another day…and that giving 100% is good enough…and that the Universal Laws really do work when you work with them.

I woke up this morning with the “scareds.” With February rent looming, my business is moving forward…and I’d like to find one or two clients with enough work to cover the bills for one month. Meat and potatoes clients I call them. Then the rest of the clients and projects and money are gravy. That would take the pressure off. And I wouldn’t wake up afraid…scared…with the “scareds.”

Being fully awake and conscious of my thoughts, I knew I was hedging toward worry—a negative emotion. And as all students of the Law of Attraction know, when you think negative you get negative. Emotion is simply an outer reflection of an inner thought.

It was time to change the thought and the emotion. I grabbed the closest self-help book beside the bed, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra. As I dug in, grasping for an idea that would pull me from worry, my sweetheart and business partner rolled over, “what are you reading?” he asked.

I told him what I was reading, how I was feeling, and what I was trying to do—turn the emotion and thought around.

And then he asked the question that accomplished both of those tasks at once. He said, “Are you worried or are you aware?”

In a flash, worry was gone—replaced by a word that carried no emotional voltage—a neutral word that allowed my mind infinite possibilities. Worried or aware? … Yes, I was aware.

Aware put me in “observer” role, in “decision-maker” role. I was aware of the situation: the bills due each month, the desire to attract new business, the desire to do what I do best—write! Using the word “aware” got rid of the fear. It put me back in control and set me in action.

When it’s time to change the emotion, it’s time to change the word. When you change the word, you change the thought. Change the thought and you change the emotion. Change the emotion and you change your behaviors–your actions.

So…are you worried or are you aware?