It’ll All Be Okay in the End

Apply this to every unresolved situation or relationship in your life:

It’ll ALL be Okay in the End.

If it’s NOT Okay, it’s NOT the End. 

Time to rest easy and let the Universe work its magic.

 

/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}

swedish-proverb-illustrated.jpg


/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:”Table Normal”; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:””; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}

     When I first began teaching Stress Management for Women in 2000 I hated it! I was a full-time career woman traveling every other week while raising three kids. I loved my job and I loved my kids, but I wasn’t about to pretend I was an expert and stress-free just because I was teaching the topic! The more honest I was with my students, the less stressed we all became, and the topic has become one of my favorites to train. Through a series of exercises, we tackled our stress together.

 

     This Swedish proverb reminded me of an exercise we did to help cut through the feelings of being overwhelmed, of being unable to identify the true causes: The More Of/Less Of exercise.

 

     On a sheet of paper, list everything you “want more of” in your life. Then make of list of everything you “want less of” in your life. Take each item on both lists seriously. Brainstorm and figure out ways to tackle each item individually.

 

     If you don’t know where to start, start with this proverb.

I awoke today to a familiar feeling–the yucks. I HATE that feeling! I fight that feeling a lot when I’m under pressure.

Being a student of The Law of Attraction, I knew I had to change that stinkin’ thinkin’ to thoughts that were positive. So into my self-help library I delved. The Power of I AM, a book by John Maxwell Taylor, was on the top of the stack by the bed. I grabbed it and searched for a tidbit of info that would transform my thoughts to something brighter…to no avail.

I then resorted to prayer and meditation. My mind refused to let me see the light. I felt like I was in a fog of negativity. And just as peering into a deep fog does nothing to help clear it, peering into my consciousness had the same effect–or lack there of. I fought it for hours not wanting to acknowledge the problems that were making me anxious. Not wanting to BE anxious! Finally, around noon, after hours of fighting tears and sadness, I gave in and welcomed the problem. As Tama Kieves says in her book This Time I Dance, I invited the problem in for tea and crumpets. “Well, as long as the problem is here, we all might as well get comfortable with it.” Instantly I felt better–a complete turn-around.

How did I do it? One simple little word helped me–the word “well….” “Well” is a transition word, a word that moves your mind from one thought to another. “Well” acknowledges the situation you’re in but still opens to a different, kinder outcome than the one you are imagining. It’s easier to let go of negative thinking when you move it forward one thought at a time. And I do that one word at a time.

“Well” is a word that moves me forward.

It’s five days til Christmas and I’ve yet to do my shopping. I’m not a procrastinator by mental wiring. I like getting projects done before deadlines loom. I’ve been putting off my shopping until the cash flow improves. I have been browsing for gifts for my three teenagers online though, and I’m reading the Exchange Policies. After all, what good is a present if the person doesn’t like it and won’t use it.  Many companies make exchanging items easy. And all this has me thinking of my own internal “exchange policies.” Here’s one thought I’ve recently exchanged:

I recently parted from a j-o-b.  My first in 16 years actually. I’ve run my own sales/marketing/communications company since 1991 and early this past year, strapped for cash and credit limits maxed, I became an employee for someone else. It was a brutal mental game. I worked everyday to “hold the light” and be positive as I worked in an office focused on the negative–mine, our team’s, and our client’s. I cried every Monday morning. The stress was tremendous.

Time to activate the Exchange Policy! I’ve exchanged the stress of having to work for someone else with the pressure of once again being on my own–self-sufficient, and responsible for three teenagers, two cats, and a condo. I’ve got January’s rent covered. February? Yet to be determined.

But if I get to choose–and you know I do–I choose the pressure of the unknown versus the pressures put upon me by others. I’m back in positive mode full time–and no longer crying on Monday mornings. My days are my own to make or break–and I choose to “wonder” where the next client is coming from versus the thoughts of how to cope in an energy cesspool.

Occasionally I replace the pressures of a job with the fears of not being financially successful, but who’s got time for such nonsense thoughts. And isn’t it wonderful knowing that if the fears do creep in, I can exchange those, too.

Our words create our worlds. 

Positive affirmations, prayers, spells, whatever you call them, what we speak has a greater potential of turning into reality than the words we don’t speak.  That’s why I try hard to never utter words or phrases that I don’t want to come true. And I’ll deny or negate negative phrases when someone idly tosses them my way…like, you’re going to get a speeding ticket–you’re due.  Delete, delete–not me!

Here are a few words I’m letting go of–removing from my vocabulary–now:

1.      FEAR. I’m letting go of fear in the traditional sense of the anxiety and doubts we focus our thoughts on. Someone once told me FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.  Translation: A situation only appears fearful because of the interpretations we place on it.  I’m changing my interpretation of FEAR to Forgetting Everything’s All Right. 

2.      WORRY.  Worrying is stewing without doing.  Worry is also a fear-based emotion.  Playing off of Forgetting Everything’s All Right, I’m letting go of the emotional angst of worry.  After all, worry is only a question of what’s going to happen in the future.  From now on I’m going to “wonder” what will happen.  Instead of “I’m worried about what’s going to happen,” I choose to think (and speak) “I WONDER what’s going to happen.”  It’s open with positive expectation.

3.      BUT.  When’s the last time you were “but”ed in a conversation?  And how did it make you feel?  Negated, right?  And how about the popular phrase “yes, but”?  It sounds as if someone is agreeing with you but they’re not.  They’re negating your words (and consequently your opinion and you).  Instead of “but,” why not the word “and”?  “Yes, and have you thought of this?” Or, “yes, and I see it this way.”  AND is a word that affirms the other while opening them to another way of looking at something.  Your way.

Let go of these words and you’ll let go of a bit of negativity.