PsychoGeometrics: Sunday Morning BreakfastImagine a typical Sunday morning. Breakfast is on the mind of each of the communication styles, Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. A simple suggestion of “going out for breakfast” gets different reactions:

Creatures of habit and ritual, Boxes (because “Square” makes some people uneasy), Boxes awake at their normal time and begin their customary routine: bathroom time, grooming time. If you’re going to disrupt the routine, now is the time to interject.

Cue the Triangle and the Squiggle…

Triangles most usually have a Sunday morning agenda–a list of projects longer than the day, and mentally they’ve already finished breakfast and begun the first task. In reality they haven’t eaten their first bite. They’ll have breakfast at home, if they can delegate the task to you, or just get it themselves on their way to Home Depot. Triangles really don’t care whether you go out to eat or stay in—–as long as you do it FAST!

Squiggles, having declared loudly their intent to sleep until noon, suddenly pop awake at 7 and are out of bed with the chickens. Like Triangles, they have a few things on the “to do” list, that probably includes Circles, but be certain the day is about fun and people–and fun. Breakfast down the road is a great idea and the Squiggle is probably the one that suggested it. Unless he/she sleeps til noon.

Circles could be just as apt to issue a breakfast invitation as a Squiggle, and chances are they have a standing Sunday morning play date, and usually with old friends and family. Or a Circle will be the one whompin’ up biscuits for a sleepy crew. And if a Circle takes time to make breakfast, you’ll find the finishing touches–pretty plates, the newspaper and a small trinket–evidence of their affection. Or the Circle might just take a kitchen break and suggest a nearby restaurant. They will take care of those around them, rest assured.

In the meantime, with the Triangle out the door, the Squiggle and the Circle round up the accessories or the kids. The Square is just now catching on, and they have questions: Where are we going? What do they serve? How far away is it? Do we have gas in the car? Did you know gas is $4.00/gallon? When did you want to leave… They haven’t committed to going to breakfast yet.

A typical Sunday morning breakfast with the shapes.

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PsychoGeometrics: Social Media Shaping UpFace-to-face communication is tricky business, but when you’re standing toe-to-toe with someone, chances are their physical presence, facial expressions, actions, and tone of voice reinforce the true meaning behind their words. With the written word, the reader is at a disadvantage. The words carry all the weight—or do they?

The Social Media platform that a person selects to relay a message is a clue to their communication style. When you consider the 4 major social media platforms (Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube) and cross-reference that with the 4 major communication styles (Squares, Triangles, Circles, Squiggles), you get a few clues to understanding.

Triangles are fast-paced project people. They’re driven by accomplishment and the need to get things done—quickly! They love to delegate but are sketchy with details. The 140 character limit makes Twitter an excellent tool for Triangles. In addition, Triangles thrive on leadership and recognition so they’ll have a strong presence on Linkedin. Triangles are quick to embrace new technologies once they understand the benefits to the bottom-line. But Triangles are slow to switch from email to social media not wanting to tackle the learning curve until absolutely necessary. Once they make the leap, though, they expect you will too.

Squiggles are fast-paced people people. They are independent thinkers and visionaries. They thrive on crafting, creating, and developing. They’re emotional and spontaneous—and a perfect match for the real-time audience of Twitter. Squiggles are animated and theatrical so YouTube offers unlimited possibilities as well. They’ll maintain a limited profile on Linkedin for professional reasons but will gravitate toward Facebook for lengthier conversations.

Circles will find their Squiggle friends on Facebook and probably spend the majority of time interacting with other Circles—also on Facebook. Circles are slower-paced people people. They are dedicated team players tapped in to the grape vine. They nurture those around them by investing their time. In addition to Facebook, you’ll find them on YouTube. Linkedin won’t provide the social stimulation they’re looking for—too professional, but a smaller social network, Flickr for example, provides in-depth relationships.

Squares, the slower-paced project people, will take the time to learn the social media platforms but see little reason to use them away from work. Squares will have a strong profile on Linkedin but not spend much time interacting. They might use Twitter to relay short burst of info to a team member but prefer email where their correspondence is private (relatively) and allow for lengthy explanations. They appreciate the teaching/training role of YouTube and will spend time educating themselves.

As the social media platforms continue to evolve, the Triangles and Squiggles will adapt quickly. Circles and Squares will join hesitantly but enjoy the camaraderie and ease of operation that only social media can bring.

If you’re new to this information, you must visit Dr. Susan Dellinger’s site. The lights went on the day I heard her  explain the different communication styles and their corresponding shapes. Things made a bit more sense; people made a lot more sense. I had a tool which helped explain why people said and did what they did. It explained human behavior to me in the most elementary of mediums: shapes. I’ve used this theory, psycho-geometrics, every day of my life since. Learn it from my textbook mentor, Dr. Susan Dellinger.

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PsychoGeometrics: Please Pass the Ketchup

There are 4 communication styles: Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. There is a transitional shape, the Rectangle, that complicates the mix, but basically Rectangles are people in transition—a new job or a new relationship, for example. But those Rectangles, for the most part, take on the communication qualities of one of the other four shapes: Squares, Triangles, Circles, or Squiggles.

Want some Ketchup with those Fries?

So let’s say the four shapes are out to lunch together. They all have hamburgers with French fries and they all like ketchup on their fries. Here’s how the scene takes shape:

The Square (the Box actually, because no one likes to be called Square)… The Box will pick-up the ketchup bottle and begin a step-by-step process, thinking to themselves (you will NOT hear this dialogue out loud), “I’d really like ketchup on my fries.”

Step 1: uncap the bottle by twisting the lid with just the proper amount of torqueage,

Step 2: hold the bottle at a 45% angle,

Step 3: apply the correct amount of pressure to the sweet spot and tap the bottle with an even distribution of pressure,

Step 4: wait patiently for ketchup to fall easily and precisely on desired spot,

Step 5: recap the bottle,

Step 6: recall history lesson—“ketchup was invented in 1801 by Sandy Addison whose recipe was later printed in an American cookbook, the Sugar House Book.” REMEMBER, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ANY OF THIS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. BOXES WILL BE THINKING THIS TO THEMSELVES.

Triangles will quickly and emphatically be the first to grab the ketchup bottle and BANG on the bottom until the ketchup comes out. OR, they could just point to someone and say, “YOU–pour me ketchup.”

A Circle will take the ketchup bottle and exclaim loudly, “Oh, I LOVE ketchup on my fries.” They will then talk you through the application process, “But I hate how long it takes. Don’t you?” They’ll tap the bottle and keep talking, “It takes FOREVER to get the ketchup out. When I was a little girl…”(insert long story here that involves a brother/sister or family member). Once a Circle has ketchup, they will offer ketchup to those around them, “Would you like ketchup? How about you, ketchup? Does anyone need ketchup?” They’ll make sure the table is cared for.

The Squiggle will grab a French frie, consider the ketchup bottle, but then scoop a fry-full of ketchup off your plate! OR they might just ask for mustard.

When ordering burgers and fries, think twice about setting your Boxes and Squiggles side-by-side. 😉

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Psycho-Geometrics: Communication Styles

     The first time I listened to PsychoGeometrics by Dr. Susan Dellinger, the lights went on and the bells went off. Dr. Dellinger, using the geometric shapes of squares, circles, rectangles, triangles, and squiggles, simplified communication for me forever. I understood I was a squiggle—and that explained so much! PsychoGeometrics categorized my behaviors and justified them. When others—not like me–criticized the way I spoke or interacted, I only understood I did it differently then they did. I didn’t know my behaviors and actions were a particular “style,” and that there were many others like me!

     Let me break it down for you. (And then you really have to check out the PsychoGeometrics website.)

If I were to line the 5 shapes up on the wall, point to the wall across the room and say, “Okay, friends, get to that wall,” here’s what would happen:

     The Rectangle, often in a transitional state due to personal upheaval, would  adapt. A Rectangle will evolve into and react like one of the other 4 shapes: triangle, square, circle, or squiggle.

     The Triangle, the fast-paced project person, will race across the room and reach the wall first. They’ll check their watch and wonder what is taking the other shapes so long to cross the room. The Triangle will wait impatiently for a short time before they’re on to their next task.

     The Circle, the slower-paced people person, will unite the team: “Let’s all take hands and cross the room together. Does anyone need a cup of coffee or a light jacket?” The Circle encourages and takes care of each member of their group. Don’t mistake them for gossips; they are open-hearted and kind and great on a team.

     The Squiggle, the fast-paced people person, will simply disappear. They’ll eventually end up across the room and on the wall, but they’ll have finished a task or two, and might even have started another on the way. The Squiggle is optimistic, agreeable, and a big picture thinker.

     The Square is the last shape to leave the wall. The Square, as a matter of fact, doesn’t have enough information yet to leave the wall. They have questions: at what time should they cross the room and arrive on the other wall? At what point precisely should the stand? How should they get there? Is there a procedure or system in place for crossing the room? The Square needs additional information and time to apply strategic thinking and logic.

     When the task is simple—cross the room and get to the opposite wall—the communication styles of the 5 shapes are evident. Those styles are just as obvious in the working world, and it’s easy to know who you’re talking to when you know what behaviors to look for.

     Check back for more PsychoGeometrics and how it applies to the social media platforms of Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, MySpace, and You Tube.

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I’m a sucker for the word “panic,” and with good reason. I’m in love with 6 men from Georgia, collectively known as Widespread Panic. Many call them Widespread; many more call them Panic. They’re a rockin’, slammin’ southern rock jam band from Athens; I’ve been to 115+ shows, and their bluesy, rock riffs just keep getting better! When most think “panic” is a bad thing, I experience it as just the opposite. Thousands of fans groovin’ and movin’ riding half notes and full notes to a rapturous high. Just 4-5000 of my closest friends, dancing our problems away, letting the anxiety and fear fade, trusting all our questions will be answered. Yes, why worry when you can Panic?

I’ve only had one panic attack in my life. I couldn’t breath, I almost passed out. It was so scary that just the thought of having a panic attack makes me–PANIC! Who likes feeling so out of control?! I thank Michael Houser, original guitarist for WP known for his panic attacks, for my new perspective. Rumor has it (according to TEWSY, The Earth Will Swallow You) Mikey said, “If we’re going to be known as Panic, I’d rather be known as Widespread Panic.” Together, he and the band put his/their fears behind them and today there are hundreds of thousands of fans who are lifted by their music.

Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it.  ~Henry S. Haskins

Michael Houser lived Haskin’s quote. And because he did, I can too. With any thought of fear, anxiety, or emotional discomfort, I just put on the Widespread Panic and dance!

Spring

Me: I feel like a spring.

BF: You mean like water?

Me: No.

BF: Like the season?

Me: No.

BF:  Like a twisty metal one?

Me: THAT’s the one.

It was late, my boyfriend and I were driving home from the airport. He’d picked me up after a short two-day jaunt to Kansas City to visit one of my clients. I was wired all right–twisted up tight with excitement. I’d just been through orientation with National Seminars–the premier training company for corporate employees, government workers, and individual entrepreneurs. I trained a number of topics for them from 2003 through 2006: How to be a Great Communicator, Effective Business Writing, The Grammar Guide, Creative Marketing Conference, The Women’s Conferences.

Beginning early April, I’ll be training National Seminars’ newest seminar, Social Media Marketing. Communication has taken a technological turn and the world has been united. Social Networks (Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, You Tube, and countless other sites) are changing how we talk to each other, our customers, and the world.

According to Brian Solis, Principal of FutureWorks, “Social Media is about sociology and psychology more than technology.”  Given my soc and psych background, it’s a revolution I want to be part of–and National Seminars is on the cutting edge, letting me lead the way.

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Women are like teabags.

We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water!
— Eleanor Roosevelt

 

The nation is in “hot water.” Each of us is being called to become clearer in our convictions, stronger in our faith, and more determined with our footsteps. None of us has a moral obligation to live our best life or help each other, but for most women those character traits come with two X chromosomes. We’re natural born nurturers—and we need strength to keep going and giving and loving and forgiving.

 

Tea not your thing? That’s okay; that’s the beauty of being in hot water. There’s coffee, hot chocolate, and Theraflu! All three mix wonderfully with hot water. There’s lemonade and jello and powdered milk and concrete. The flavors and possibilities are endless.

 

We don’t all need to drink tea. Each of us has our own preferences, our own beliefs, and our own values. If you were serving tea and someone wanted coffee, wouldn’t you do your best to accommodate them? Most hostesses would.

 

What divides us as a nation is not as strong as what unites us. Our strength lies in accommodating and serving a variety of flavors—no matter what you prefer in your own cup.

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Chop Wood; Carry Water; Make Ice Cubes

Roughly translated: prepare for the party!

One Motivated Mother

     “When are you going to get a real job, Honey?” my parents asked for the umpteenth time. Not in those words, but when I started my own business in 1991, Dad was skeptical (even though he’s a farmer and owned his own business for 50 plus years). Both Mom and Dad would prefer I get a job working for someone else. Someone who’ll pay a solid wage for a good day’s work; someone who’ll pay health benefits, and reward hard work with a promotion and raise. A work place I can settle into and work my way up. I confess I’d like those things, too. But job security is a notion from the past, and the opportunity for a high paying job where you can work-your-way-up is a myth. (A sub-illusion of The American Dream. I’ll tackle THAT topic later.) 

     My first five years out of college, I worked for other companies, three total. Since I started making $10,000/year, every move was made to increase my pay. It only took a few weeks of working for peanuts for me to realize “working for the man” doesn’t pay. So in 1991, I started my own advertising agency. And the 90’s were GOOD! Over the next ten years, I netted between $45-$75,000/year. My husband was working a full-time job—with health insurance benefits for us all! Now THAT’S the Dream—working for myself and making enough money to live comfortably with my husband and three kids. But it didn’t last.

     When the Towers came down in 2001 so did my business. By that time my marriage had ended and I had moved into speaking and training as my career. Contract work was scarce, but the kids and I squeaked by. (Thank God, their Dad still has a great job and he carries the blunt of the kid expenses!)  I was tired of struggling on my own so I made the monumental decision to “go back to work” for someone else. Financial problem solved, right? WRONG. And actually, WORSE!

     When the recession hit, I was working a media job for a radio station. I loved it and I was good! I was on track to hit record sales numbers when the market plummeted. When a new General Manager cut my pay by 55%, I knew (as the only bread earner in the family) I was in trouble. Within five months I was able to find another job (also in media) only to have the same scenario play out. In a nutshell, after three years of “working for the man,” 45 hours a week—with gusto and determination—I am $17,000 in credit card debt (because even with a 55% reduction is salary—babies got to eat!!) AND I’ve lost my home. Ironically, working a job doesn’t work for me!!

     So, here I am 20 years later from my initial realization that “working for the man” doesn’t pay, but I’m still searching for a “job” because—even with unemployment assistance—I can’t make ends meet. More importantly, though, I’m CREATING a job—or trying to. When the majority of jobs pay $10/hr and under, I can’t live on my own and raise three kids making $1200/month anyway. I AM my only hope. So it’s time—along with 2.5 million other out-of-work comrades—to figure out a revenue stream. Because, let’s face it, when the unemployment runs out, there is no one to help.

     But, hey, this is ‘Merica and we’re ‘Mericans!! We’re all created equal and have the same opportunities?! Right? (Yea right. I feel another blog post coming on.)

     If necessity is the mother of all invention, then look out, because  I am one motivated mother!

No End In Sight     I’m having a hard time getting to the end–the end of a sentence, a thought, the situation, the reality. I guess it’s because there really are no “ends” in my life right now. I’m working with beginnings.

     I was discharged from my job in August—an ending for sure. But it opened up an opportunity to do something else; exactly what is being determined. I’m checking Monster, Craigs List, Linked-in, and Facebook daily. Can’t say what I’ll be doing a year from now, but writing feels good in the interim.

      I lost my house the end of October—another big ending. I said goodbye to my home of 10 years, made arrangements for my teen boys to stay part-time with me and part-time with their dad, sent my boyfriend out to find a full-time job and moved in with a girlfriend.

     I’d love to finish the story, but I can’t even get to the end of the paragraph. I don’t know what’s coming next. It’s that simple. I can start a sentence but I’m not sure how to finish it. And I’m not forcing myself to! I’ve given myself permission to start chapters, paragraphs, sentences without the pressure of finishing. How freeing! There’s no pressure to draw any conclusions, determine any next big steps, or finish anything. Not even this darned blog if I don’t feel like it!

     Today is for starting. No ends in sight. Just beginnings.