Spring

Me: I feel like a spring.

BF: You mean like water?

Me: No.

BF: Like the season?

Me: No.

BF:  Like a twisty metal one?

Me: THAT’s the one.

It was late, my boyfriend and I were driving home from the airport. He’d picked me up after a short two-day jaunt to Kansas City to visit one of my clients. I was wired all right–twisted up tight with excitement. I’d just been through orientation with National Seminars–the premier training company for corporate employees, government workers, and individual entrepreneurs. I trained a number of topics for them from 2003 through 2006: How to be a Great Communicator, Effective Business Writing, The Grammar Guide, Creative Marketing Conference, The Women’s Conferences.

Beginning early April, I’ll be training National Seminars’ newest seminar, Social Media Marketing. Communication has taken a technological turn and the world has been united. Social Networks (Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, You Tube, and countless other sites) are changing how we talk to each other, our customers, and the world.

According to Brian Solis, Principal of FutureWorks, “Social Media is about sociology and psychology more than technology.”  Given my soc and psych background, it’s a revolution I want to be part of–and National Seminars is on the cutting edge, letting me lead the way.

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    Number 9 of the “24 Interludes of Life” as shared on Telling It Like It Is, a site which promotes “things you need to know about raising children, relationships, marriage and parenting.”

 

A careless word may kindle a strife
A cruel word may wreck a life
A timely word may level stress
A lovely word may heal and bless

 

What if all of your words were lovely? 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could take all words at face value? Fortunately we know that words are only one portion of the underlying message. Inflection, intonation, and body language also help us interpret and translate hidden meanings.

Take extra care and truly tune-in when you hear these words:

(1)Fine. Fine is most commonly used in two contexts, the first often in response to the question–how are you? Humorists would have us believe fine stands for: Fussed up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. To self-help gurus, “fine” is the status quo and they suggest we respond with “great,” or “terrific” as opposed to “fine” to increase our energy and vibration. Fine has also come to symbolize the end of a conversation, usually when both or all parties are at a standstill. According to a recent funny email I received in reference to communication between the sexes,the author suggested “fine” is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you (men) need to shut up. It was attributed as a female response, but I’ve heard men fall back and punt with “fine” as well.

(2)Nothing. I often default to “nothing” when I just don’t have the energy, stimina, or patience to explain what’s going on inside my head. For example: what are you thinking? Nothing. A better response might be “it’s too complicated to explain.” John Gray, author of Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus, states men and women have very different uses for this word. Women can use it as a diversionary tactic. Men really tend to be thinking of “no thing–nothing.” “Nothing” is like a safe, mental box for men. The email I received said, when women use the word, “nothing” is the calm before the storm. Nothing really means something, and you should be on your toes if you hear it. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

(3)Whatever. I hate to be “whatevered,” and I use the word rarely, and only with great frustration with even greater trepidation. “Whatever” is a dismissal, it means you are no longer listening to, honoring, or respecting the other person’s viewpoint. It symbolizes a communication breakdown or lack of interest in continuing the conversation. According to the email, it translates to “you’re an idiot and I’m not listening to you.” Use “whatever” cautiously. Interpretation will be up to the listener.

Avoid these common “watch out” words and enjoy smoother communications.

I’m deep into study of the Seven Universal Laws of Success. This is my third time (in the last two months) reading Sandra Anne Taylor’s book, Quantum Success. I’m not new to the Law of Attraction, having first heard about it 23 years ago in a tape series by Brian Tracy, The Psychology of Achievement, and I’ve spent a good deal of my professional career as a motivational speaker learning and living those principles. Yet today I’m having a hard time living in “potential,” and I’m wondering what to do with these “negative” thoughts and emotions that repel success (according to Taylor). According to all Law of Attraction gurus, negative thoughts repel what you desire. And today I’m feeling the pressure to turn negatives into positives.

I’m also a fan of Karla McLaren. Her book Emotional Genius simplifies and clarifies the link between thoughts and emotions. She doesn’t believe in “negative” emotions, but in the motivational power in all feelings. Anger (an emotion typically labeled “negative”) is not to be suppressed but an emotion that signals a psychological boundary breech. Anger serves the person who feels, processes, and takes time to understand it. Anger is an internal warning system–like when the “service engine” light illuminates the dash board of your car. This “negative” emotions carries some positive benefits once processed.

Today I’m searching for the positive in my negative mind set, while still working with the Seven Universal Laws.

1) The Law of Manifestation: consciousness creates reality. You get what you think about, talk about, dream about, focus on and take action toward. A good question to ask yourself is: what am I creating now? So, what am I creating now with my exploration into “stinkin’ thinkin”? Hmmmph, an article for all of us to learn from. That’s a negative into a positive–this could work.

2) The Law of Magnetism: we attract the same energy we put out. Our dominant thoughts–plus the emotions behind those thoughts–create an energy field and vibration that becomes our calling card. Today, I’m feeling uncertain–not my usual trusting, optimistic self. I’m feeling…human. Many people live their life in fear–how am I going to pay the bills, what if I get sick, who will take care of my kids? My Mary Kay friends say, “fake it ’til you make it,” but I don’t want to put a happy face over “uncertainty.” According to the Law of Attraction, there is no fooling the Universe. And don’t I have to acknowledge uncertainty before I can turn it around? Maybe that’s all this is–the Universe is asking me to step up and declare my intentions.

3) The Law of Pure Desire: our intentions must be pure, our motivations genuine, healthy, and honoring to ourselves and others. How do you want to serve, and what is it you want to accomplish? I had a keynote presentation today–Generational Communication for the Community Associations Institute–(let me shorthand it for you–love your neighbor!) I’m a passionate, gifted speaker and communicator when it comes to communication topics. I spent 8 years on the road, traveling coast-to-coast, living that passion through keynotes and corporate trainings. I did 8-10 full-day seminars a month. Now, I do 1-2 40 minute keynotes monthly. Perhaps this feeling is the Universe calling me to do more of what I do best? That’s definitely a negative into a positive.

4) The Law of Paradoxical Intent: reflects the Law of Magnetism in warning that we’ll get a return on our negative energy as well. If we’re desperate to make something happen, that repulsive vibration will push it away. Desperation creates the paradox, or the opposite, of the original intent, leading us to failure. Now, this is the Law that baffles me most. How can you want something so badly, and still be denied? And this is where I have to call in the theories of Karla McLaren. What if negative doesn’t so much attract negative as move you back to positive? Perhaps the Law of Paradoxical Intent keeps actions true and on the right course?

5) The Law of Harmony: when we consciously choose to create balance and align ourselves with the Universe, our intention and energy open the floodgates of Universal abundance, allowing us access to all the insight, power, and blessing that the world has to offer. We must take complete responsibility for our daily choices, live in balance, accept ourselves, and let go of control. Maybe the lesson today is just that easy. Am I holding on too tight? Am I living in trust or feeling I have to make something happen? Did I live my passion and purpose today? Oh yeah! Then today is a success and tomorrow will take care of itself. Negative into positive–I’m feeling better already.

6) The Law of Right Action: our energy is self-perpetuating in the world. Value, honor, and dignity increase in our lives to the same degree we promote them in our surrounding environment. The question needed before every task: “is this honoring to myself and others?” I guess the question I have to ask myself today: is this feeling of uncertainty honoring to me? If I believe in what I’ve learned in Emotional Genius, then of course it is! Isn’t this nothing more than a gut check? What’s really important to me? My “negative” with the right question has become a “positive.”

7) The Law of Expanding Influence: our energies expand and directly influence the world at large. Our intentions for harmony expand in the consciousness of every human being. Translation: energy is contagious. I’ve known this for some time. I’ve been thanked over and over again for my energy. I’m very accepting of others–even more so of them than myself at times. I just love people and I’m genuinely curious and interested. I like to listen as much as I like to speak. I think that’s the energy that people enjoy–me acknowledging and celebrating them–flaws and all! I know that when I make people feel good about themselves, they go out and do the same to others. And that’s what I was put on the planet to do.

And here we are at the end of the Seven Universal Laws, and I’m feeling better and a lot more certain. Certain that tomorrow is another day…and that giving 100% is good enough…and that the Universal Laws really do work when you work with them.

“If you loved John Arends, you’re going to love this blog.” (A paraphrased quote from John.)

Woodmen Valley Chapel was full as we assembled to say good bye to a pillar of the Colorado Springs real estate community. I’d known him briefly–an associate in Springs Best networking group. Every Thursday morning at 7 over breakfast at The Olive Branch, a family of business associates assembled to support and enrich each others’ businesses. John and I exchanged pleasantries on a number of occasions.

It was a card he sent me, however, that truly endeared him to my heart. I’d had an article in the Gazette–front page of the Sunday Business section. Debbie Kelley had done a wonderful job of relaying my Generational Communication info. Carol Lawrence had snapped a great, sassy picture. I was delighted as my friends called to congratulate me.

John’s congratulations card arrived a few days later. He’d cut out the article, folded it nicely so my picture was on top, popped it into a card with a beautiful butterfly on the outside and a sentimental “perseverance” quote on the inside. Across the bottom he had scribbled, “Lindee, Nice ‘ink’! John”

The message was simple, unpretentious, articulately and artfully written. It was first class all the way–and sooo John Arends. It’s that optimistic, supportive, elegant presence that we will all miss most of all. He touched so many lives.

Thank goodness Pastor Matt Heard gave us all permission to laugh and cry, because that’s what we did for the next two and a half hours as friends and family shared stories of John with us. Stories of achieving greatness within the ranks of ReMax, awesome long-shot putts (“If you love golf, you’re going to love this putt.”), a spiritual quest after the loss of his daughter, dedication to his Girls–wife, daughters, and grand-daughters, and an appreciation of Colorado sunrises and sunsets–God’s reminder that all is right in the world. Even when one of us has slipped beyond it.

The sadness of John’s passing was summed up beautifully for me by his brother, Dale. He read a haiku written by John’s mother years before:

“Happy times are everywhere, it’s up to me to find them.”

Thank you, John Arends, for my renewed appreciation of an orange, pink, and purple sunset…and the legacy of words to live by. Happy times are everywhere…not only will I find them, but share them, and relish them.

Growing up the daughter of a devout Catholic–two actually–I witnessed first hand the power of Saint Jude. Saint Jude, according to legend and belief, is the patron saint of Lost Causes. While other Catholics would pray to Saint Anthony for lost objects, Saint Christopher for safe passage, and bury Saint Whoever upside down in the back yard to sell their house, my Mom went straight to the top–Saint Jude.

I have witnessed my Mom walk into a 40 acre field, at sunset, and find a tractor part the size of a bottle opener. I’ve seen her find misplaced checks, rogue house and car keys, and glasses gone missing. All she does is say a quick prayer, promise a financial reward as gratitude, and go in search of the missing object. Saint Jude comes through–almost always, and almost always immediately.

I, myself, have called on Jude on numerous occasions–like when I threw out an important bottle of medication and had to go dumpster diving to find it. Jude has helped me find countless items, and more importantly, has helped me through times of great stress…times when my moral has been in the toilet and I’m standing alone on one last shredded nerve. To me, Saint Jude represents faith…and the power of prayer. From that very first time in elementary school when I lost my brand new retainer and had to call in the Big Guy, I’ve been a believer.

Today I invoke Saint Jude. There is only one thing on my list, and I need it now. With heartfelt gratitude, I thank you in advance for coming through. Saint Jude, you’re the Dude.

And, as always, I’ll be sending my gratitude check to Saint Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

I awoke today to a familiar feeling–the yucks. I HATE that feeling! I fight that feeling a lot when I’m under pressure.

Being a student of The Law of Attraction, I knew I had to change that stinkin’ thinkin’ to thoughts that were positive. So into my self-help library I delved. The Power of I AM, a book by John Maxwell Taylor, was on the top of the stack by the bed. I grabbed it and searched for a tidbit of info that would transform my thoughts to something brighter…to no avail.

I then resorted to prayer and meditation. My mind refused to let me see the light. I felt like I was in a fog of negativity. And just as peering into a deep fog does nothing to help clear it, peering into my consciousness had the same effect–or lack there of. I fought it for hours not wanting to acknowledge the problems that were making me anxious. Not wanting to BE anxious! Finally, around noon, after hours of fighting tears and sadness, I gave in and welcomed the problem. As Tama Kieves says in her book This Time I Dance, I invited the problem in for tea and crumpets. “Well, as long as the problem is here, we all might as well get comfortable with it.” Instantly I felt better–a complete turn-around.

How did I do it? One simple little word helped me–the word “well….” “Well” is a transition word, a word that moves your mind from one thought to another. “Well” acknowledges the situation you’re in but still opens to a different, kinder outcome than the one you are imagining. It’s easier to let go of negative thinking when you move it forward one thought at a time. And I do that one word at a time.

“Well” is a word that moves me forward.

Our words create our worlds — words I’ve been using since I discovered the connection between intent and language 24 years ago. It was Brian Tracy in his self-help audio program The Psychology of Achievement that taught me the power of the “I am” phrase.

I am powerful. I am confident. I am easy-going and patient. Simple translation: we are what we say we are.

When I wanted to write my first book. I didn’t say, “I want to write a book, I want to write a book.…” I said, “I am a writer, I am a writer, I am a writer.” Through the process of owning it, embodying it, and embracing it, I became a writer—and then a published author.

I learned just recently the fun, logical, spiritual reason for why the “I am” affirmation phrase works so well.

“I” stands for intent. What is it that you want to be, do, or have? What are your deepest desires?

“A” stands for attention. What we give our attention to—think about, talk about, write about, focus on, work towards—comes true. It…

“Manifests.” It becomes real in our life.

Intention, attention, manifestation. Language is the bridge between wanting and having. Speaking what you want, out loud, in words that say “I already am it or have it” are key.

Today when I get the opportunity to introduce myself, I use the following positive affirmation: I am the courageous, outrageous, audacious, and loquacious Lindee Brauer.

Just saying it makes it so.

I woke up this morning with the “scareds.” With February rent looming, my business is moving forward…and I’d like to find one or two clients with enough work to cover the bills for one month. Meat and potatoes clients I call them. Then the rest of the clients and projects and money are gravy. That would take the pressure off. And I wouldn’t wake up afraid…scared…with the “scareds.”

Being fully awake and conscious of my thoughts, I knew I was hedging toward worry—a negative emotion. And as all students of the Law of Attraction know, when you think negative you get negative. Emotion is simply an outer reflection of an inner thought.

It was time to change the thought and the emotion. I grabbed the closest self-help book beside the bed, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra. As I dug in, grasping for an idea that would pull me from worry, my sweetheart and business partner rolled over, “what are you reading?” he asked.

I told him what I was reading, how I was feeling, and what I was trying to do—turn the emotion and thought around.

And then he asked the question that accomplished both of those tasks at once. He said, “Are you worried or are you aware?”

In a flash, worry was gone—replaced by a word that carried no emotional voltage—a neutral word that allowed my mind infinite possibilities. Worried or aware? … Yes, I was aware.

Aware put me in “observer” role, in “decision-maker” role. I was aware of the situation: the bills due each month, the desire to attract new business, the desire to do what I do best—write! Using the word “aware” got rid of the fear. It put me back in control and set me in action.

When it’s time to change the emotion, it’s time to change the word. When you change the word, you change the thought. Change the thought and you change the emotion. Change the emotion and you change your behaviors–your actions.

So…are you worried or are you aware?

Start a love story. Match your friends.

A new ad and website appeared this week–Matchmyfriend.com Brilliant marketing! What you won’t do for yourself you’ll do for your friends—and secretly hope they do it for you. Like a surprise party! Does anyone really appreciate a match-maker? Of course, when they’re not blatant about it. Why not silently arrange a rendezvous? It’s easy to have both people show up in the same location. It’s the darned announcing of “said meeting” that makes everyone uncomfortable. Don’t even start a conversation with “you’ve gotta meet Bob, he’s blah, blah, blah, and perfect for you.” Just leave that in your head, unspoken, and arrange a meeting. If they are “perfect” for each other, then fate will step in and what happens next is unstoppable—because that’s what happens in true love. Something primordial takes over. Call it chemistry; call it passion, but a force all consuming steps in and you’re on a shooting star heading out to heaven. Who doesn’t appreciate a hook-up, no matter where it comes from or who sets it up? It’s just a lot easier to let happen. Love throws its own surprise party.
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