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A Beautiful Girl and Colorful World

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The World Is Grey

A poem by Justin Brauer

The words that spilled out of her mouth were colorful, beautiful, inspiring. As they spill from her soft lips they pass through the microphone, out of the speakers and splash out upon the crowd as these colorful words hit the ears of eager listeners. The words pass in one ear as colorful as the next, but as they pass through they come out dull and just words, like the world.

Inside the heads of the eager listeners are seas of color, individuality, creation, creativity. The sea of colors become so large and abrupt that every color leaks out from their eyes, seeping in every combination of colors possible showing the crowds’ true colors. Showing how words can change a person, a crowd, a nation.

The nation explodes of color from one girl’s soft, beautiful, colorful words. Igniting a revolution of color, an eruption of every color possible from every one spilling color back to the dull colorless world.

PsychoGeometrics: the “I’s” Have It

How do you tell the Communication Style of the person you’re chatting with? Listen to the verbal clues:

Boxes say, “I think.”

Circles say, “I feel.”

Squiggles say, “I believe.”

Triangles say, “I know.”

PsychoGeometrics to CyberGeometerics: the Shapes in Space

Box: “Email me”

Circle: “Facebook me”

Triangle: “Leave me a message”

Squiggle: “I’ll call you!”

Differences in communications style are more pronounced in Space—cyberspace, that it. Just as all four shapes interact differently in face-to-face and group interaction, they also relate differently with today’s technology tools and social networks. Think mobile phones, Facebook, Linkedin, and Twitter.

The Boxes (squares) prefer writing—they can take their time, elaborate, get the facts right—and have proof! Email is best (with electronic back-up, of course) but if forced, they’ll tolerate (at first) then exploit the Let’s-get-down-to-business, No-hankies-needed approach. Case and point—“Email me.”

Circles are all about Facebook; they share everything—where they went for lunch, the dog’s trip to the vet, Susie got her nose pierced. They post often and comment on others’ post frequently, always offering encouragement. THUMBS UP! They take time to send personal messages…in between working 8 hours at the office, volunteering for School Board, and hauling the kids to soccer practice, band rehearsal, and chess club. They’re often on the go but will take time to write you—on Facebook!

Triangles—always 4 or 5 steps ahead of themselves—prefer the phone. Might as well have that Blue Tooth surgically installed. They’re driven by getting things done—that means getting it off their “to do” list and on to yours. They prefer to talk to your answering machine (they don’t talk back or ask all those pesky questions). And they prefer you leave a message for them. While leading the pack they like to screen their calls and return them on their terms. If they use social media, it’s probably Linkedin. All business; all bottom-line. You know you’re talking to a Triangle when you’re asked to leave a message.

Squiggles—the consummate shifters, morphers, and chameleons of the Shapes is comfortable using any of the communication tools. Left to their own devices, they’ll use all of them but for different purposes and with different people. Tammy’s a Circle—I’ll chat with her on Facebook. Susie’s a Box—I’ll email her. Linda’s a Triangle, I’ll just give her a call. But if the Squiggle is off on one of their interplanetary adventures, they’ll contact you! “When”…is the question.

More on Shapes in Space soon…

PsychoGeometrics: Surprise!

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Surprise! It’s a party!…

It’s a typical Wednesday morning work day. You’ve been at your 8:00-4:00 job for the last six months but today is different—a company picnic you knew nothing about! You’re getting a three-hour lunch break that includes a short presentation by the CEO and staff, and a catered B-B-Q.

Here’s what happens:

The Boxes begrudgingly show up…then disappear. They slip slowly into the background, sit in the back row, avoid chatting with others. The b-b-q buffet, a pleasant surprise for most, isn’t fully appreciated by the Boxes who have packed their own lunch. They just want the party to be over so they can return to their routine.

The Squiggles?! SHINE! They love surprise parties–anything to disrupt the monotony of another day in the office. They’ll flit from table-to-table, chat with everyone, and, when it’s time to go back to work, will figure out a way to keep the festivities going…into Thursday, Friday, and the weekend.

The Triangles, ever-focused on getting tasks done, will arrive late and leave early—of course checking things off their “to do” lists coming and going. Efficient to the core, the Triangles will use this party time to speak with people about projects. They’ll figure out a way to keep working.

The Circles, only slightly perturbed they weren’t consulted to help plan the party, will play hostess to all those around them. They’ll show smiling faces to the presenters and clap loudly in the appropriate places. They’ll make sure everyone gets seconds, help pack the left-overs, and send everyone off with a hug. They’ll spend the rest of their work day sharing stories about the other people at the picnic.

Surprise parties? Great for Squiggles and Circles. Triangles appreciate them occasionally. Boxes…not so much.

PsychoGeometrics: Sunday Morning Breakfast

Imagine a typical Sunday morning. Breakfast is on the mind of each of the communication styles, Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. A simple suggestion of “going out for breakfast” gets different reactions:

Creatures of habit and ritual, Boxes (because “Square” makes some people uneasy), Boxes awake at their normal time and begin their customary routine: bathroom time, grooming time. If you’re going to disrupt the routine, now is the time to interject.

Cue the Triangle and the Squiggle…

Triangles most usually have a Sunday morning agenda–a list of projects longer than the day, and mentally they’ve already finished breakfast and begun the first task. In reality they haven’t eaten their first bite. They’ll have breakfast at home, if they can delegate the task to you, or just get it themselves on their way to Home Depot. Triangles really don’t care whether you go out to eat or stay in—–as long as you do it FAST!

Squiggles, having declared loudly their intent to sleep until noon, suddenly pop awake at 7 and are out of bed with the chickens. Like Triangles, they have a few things on the “to do” list, that probably includes Circles, but be certain the day is about fun and people–and fun. Breakfast down the road is a great idea and the Squiggle is probably the one that suggested it. Unless he/she sleeps til noon.

Circles could be just as apt to issue a breakfast invitation as a Squiggle, and chances are they have a standing Sunday morning play date, and usually with old friends and family. Or a Circle will be the one whompin’ up biscuits for a sleepy crew. And if a Circle takes time to make breakfast, you’ll find the finishing touches–pretty plates, the newspaper and a small trinket–evidence of their affection. Or the Circle might just take a kitchen break and suggest a nearby restaurant. They will take care of those around them, rest assured.

In the meantime, with the Triangle out the door, the Squiggle and the Circle round up the accessories or the kids. The Square is just now catching on, and they have questions: Where are we going? What do they serve? How far away is it? Do we have gas in the car? Did you know gas is $4.00/gallon? When did you want to leave… They haven’t committed to going to breakfast yet.

A typical Sunday morning breakfast with the shapes.

PsychoGeometrics: Social Media Shaping Up

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Face-to-face communication is tricky business, but when you’re standing toe-to-toe with someone, chances are their physical presence, facial expressions, actions, and tone of voice reinforce the true meaning behind their words. With the written word, the reader is at a disadvantage. The words carry all the weight—or do they?

The Social Media platform that a person selects to relay a message is a clue to their communication style. When you consider the 4 major social media platforms (Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube) and cross-reference that with the 4 major communication styles (Squares, Triangles, Circles, Squiggles), you get a few clues to understanding.

Triangles are fast-paced project people. They’re driven by accomplishment and the need to get things done—quickly! They love to delegate but are sketchy with details. The 140 character limit makes Twitter an excellent tool for Triangles. In addition, Triangles thrive on leadership and recognition so they’ll have a strong presence on Linkedin. Triangles are quick to embrace new technologies once they understand the benefits to the bottom-line. But Triangles are slow to switch from email to social media not wanting to tackle the learning curve until absolutely necessary. Once they make the leap, though, they expect you will too.

Squiggles are fast-paced people people. They are independent thinkers and visionaries. They thrive on crafting, creating, and developing. They’re emotional and spontaneous—and a perfect match for the real-time audience of Twitter. Squiggles are animated and theatrical so YouTube offers unlimited possibilities as well. They’ll maintain a limited profile on Linkedin for professional reasons but will gravitate toward Facebook for lengthier conversations.

Circles will find their Squiggle friends on Facebook and probably spend the majority of time interacting with other Circles—also on Facebook. Circles are slower-paced people people. They are dedicated team players tapped in to the grape vine. They nurture those around them by investing their time. In addition to Facebook, you’ll find them on YouTube. Linkedin won’t provide the social stimulation they’re looking for—too professional, but a smaller social network, Flickr for example, provides in-depth relationships.

Squares, the slower-paced project people, will take the time to learn the social media platforms but see little reason to use them away from work. Squares will have a strong profile on Linkedin but not spend much time interacting. They might use Twitter to relay short burst of info to a team member but prefer email where their correspondence is private (relatively) and allow for lengthy explanations. They appreciate the teaching/training role of YouTube and will spend time educating themselves.

As the social media platforms continue to evolve, the Triangles and Squiggles will adapt quickly. Circles and Squares will join hesitantly but enjoy the camaraderie and ease of operation that only social media can bring.

If you’re new to this information, you must visit Dr. Susan Dellinger’s site. The lights went on the day I heard her explain the different communication styles and their corresponding shapes. Things made a bit more sense; people made a lot more sense. I had a tool which helped explain why people said and did what they did. It explained human behavior to me in the most elementary of mediums: shapes. I’ve used this theory, psycho-geometrics, every day of my life since. Learn it from my textbook mentor, Dr. Susan Dellinger.

PsychoGeometrics: Please Pass the Ketchup

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There are 4 communication styles: Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. There is a transitional shape, the Rectangle, that complicates the mix, but basically Rectangles are people in transition—a new job or a new relationship, for example. But those Rectangles, for the most part, take on the communication qualities of one of the other four shapes: Squares, Triangles, Circles, or Squiggles.

Want some Ketchup with those Fries?

So let’s say the four shapes are out to lunch together. They all have hamburgers with French fries and they all like ketchup on their fries. Here’s how the scene takes shape:

The Square (the Box actually, because no one likes to be called Square)… The Box will pick-up the ketchup bottle and begin a step-by-step process, thinking to themselves (you will NOT hear this dialogue out loud), “I’d really like ketchup on my fries.”

Step 1: uncap the bottle by twisting the lid with just the proper amount of torqueage,

Step 2: hold the bottle at a 45% angle,

Step 3: apply the correct amount of pressure to the sweet spot and tap the bottle with an even distribution of pressure,

Step 4: wait patiently for ketchup to fall easily and precisely on desired spot,

Step 5: recap the bottle,

Step 6: recall history lesson—“ketchup was invented in 1801 by Sandy Addison whose recipe was later printed in an American cookbook, the Sugar House Book.” REMEMBER, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ANY OF THIS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. BOXES WILL BE THINKING THIS TO THEMSELVES.

Triangles will quickly and emphatically be the first to grab the ketchup bottle and BANG on the bottom until the ketchup comes out. OR, they could just point to someone and say, “YOU–pour me ketchup.”

A Circle will take the ketchup bottle and exclaim loudly, “Oh, I LOVE ketchup on my fries.” They will then talk you through the application process, “But I hate how long it takes. Don’t you?” They’ll tap the bottle and keep talking, “It takes FOREVER to get the ketchup out. When I was a little girl…”(insert long story here that involves a brother/sister or family member). Once a Circle has ketchup, they will offer ketchup to those around them, “Would you like ketchup? How about you, ketchup? Does anyone need ketchup?” They’ll make sure the table is cared for.

The Squiggle will grab a French frie, consider the ketchup bottle, but then scoop a fry-full of ketchup off your plate! OR they might just ask for mustard.

When ordering burgers and fries, think twice about setting your Boxes and Squiggles side-by-side. 😉

PsychoGeometrics: Communication Styles

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The first time I listened to PsychoGeometrics by Dr. Susan Dellinger, the lights went on and the bells went off. Dr. Dellinger, using the geometric shapes of squares, circles, rectangles, triangles, and squiggles, simplified communication for me forever. I understood I was a squiggle—and that explained so much! PsychoGeometrics categorized my behaviors and justified them. When others—not like me–criticized the way I spoke or interacted, I only understood I did it differently then they did. I didn’t know my behaviors and actions were a particular “style,” and that there were many others like me!

Let me break it down for you. (And then you really have to check out the PsychoGeometrics website.)

If I were to line the 5 shapes up on the wall, point to the wall across the room and say, “Okay, friends, get to that wall,” here’s what would happen:

The Rectangle, often in a transitional state due to personal upheaval, would adapt. A Rectangle will evolve into and react like one of the other 4 shapes: triangle, square, circle, or squiggle.

The Triangle, the fast-paced project person, will race across the room and reach the wall first. They’ll check their watch and wonder what is taking the other shapes so long to cross the room. The Triangle will wait impatiently for a short time before they’re on to their next task.

The Circle, the slower-paced people person, will unite the team: “Let’s all take hands and cross the room together. Does anyone need a cup of coffee or a light jacket?” The Circle encourages and takes care of each member of their group. Don’t mistake them for gossips; they are open-hearted and kind and great on a team.

The Squiggle, the fast-paced people person, will simply disappear. They’ll eventually end up across the room and on the wall, but they’ll have finished a task or two, and might even have started another on the way. The Squiggle is optimistic, agreeable, and a big picture thinker.

The Square is the last shape to leave the wall. The Square, as a matter of fact, doesn’t have enough information yet to leave the wall. They have questions: at what time should they cross the room and arrive on the other wall? At what point precisely should the stand? How should they get there? Is there a procedure or system in place for crossing the room? The Square needs additional information and time to apply strategic thinking and logic.

When the task is simple—cross the room and get to the opposite wall—the communication styles of the 5 shapes are evident. Those styles are just as obvious in the working world, and it’s easy to know who you’re talking to when you know what behaviors to look for.

Check back for more PsychoGeometrics and how it applies to the social media platforms of Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, MySpace, and You Tube.

Reducing Stress the Swedish Way

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When I first began teaching Stress Management for Women in 2000 I hated it! I was a full-time career woman traveling every other week while raising three kids. I loved my job and I loved my kids, but I wasn’t about to pretend I was an expert and stress-free just because I was teaching the topic! The more honest I was with my students, the less stressed we all became, and the topic has become one of my favorites to train. Through a series of exercises, we tackled our stress together.

This Swedish proverb reminded me of an exercise we did to help cut through the feelings of being overwhelmed, of being unable to identify the true causes: The More Of/Less Of exercise.

On a sheet of paper, list everything you “want more of” in your life. Then make of list of everything you “want less of” in your life. Take each item on both lists seriously. Brainstorm and figure out ways to tackle each item individually.

If you don’t know where to start, start with this proverb.

Words to Live by

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Number 9 of the “24 Interludes of Life” as shared on Telling It Like It Is, a site which promotes “things you need to know about raising children, relationships, marriage and parenting.”

A careless word may kindle a strife
A cruel word may wreck a life
A timely word may level stress
A lovely word may heal and bless

What if all of your words were lovely?

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