It’ll All Be Okay in the End

Apply this to every unresolved situation or relationship in your life:

It’ll ALL be Okay in the End.

If it’s NOT Okay, it’s NOT the End. 

Time to rest easy and let the Universe work its magic.

 

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Red Alert! Emotions on Guard     I’d been crying since I woke-up. I didn’t remember any sad dreams in particular, and yes, I was still dealing with the emotional fall-out of a four and a half year relationship that’d just ended, but to wake-up in such distress didn’t bode well for the day. Not to mention, it was 4:14 am. There was a lot of day left!

 

     Of course I was still sad about the break-up, but the feeling was beyond that. We had broken-up together weeks ago, both acknowledging time on our own, in our own skins, would be good. The transition was tough, and we missed each other terribly so we got together to talk…and somehow ended up further apart. And that’s where we are today, further apart, hence the tears.

 

     But this is bigger than sad; this is true emotional distress. My heart is demanding to be heard, “Red alert! There is something more you need to know, acknowledge, and understand. Red alert! Pay attention; tune in. Red alert! Honor this feeling, figure out the erroneous thought, and the sadness will go away. Red alert! There’s more to this feeling than you’re acknowledging.”

 

     Karla McLaren’s book, Emotional Genius, talks about the healing properties of all emotions—even the “bad” ones. (Ain’t no such thing as a bad emotion, is McLaren’s take.) Anger, sadness, depression, jealousy, hate, rage…all have a story to tell. ALL are expressions of thought. Change the thought and you can change the emotion. Make peace with it and you make peace with yourself.

 

     The two empowering thoughts that sadness brings attention to are: what must be let go of? And, what must change? Obviously WE are the thing that needs to be let go of. That was evident when we met—and that’s good. There’s no going back.

 

     But we didn’t part well. I was hurt, angry, feeling shutdown and misled. I’ve since gotten over those feelings, but something else has me twisted up tight. I want things to be okay between us. And they’re not. Not for me anyway. Something needs to change; someone needs to change, and that someone’s me.

 

     On some level I’m still holding on. Not to us, or even him, but more the thought that we can part amicably. I’m friends with all my Exes (mostly); he and I are suppose to be good friends. Before we got “involved” we promised. After all we’ve shared…

 

     And maybe THAT’s the thought that needs to change. If I simply accept that not all relationships end with friendships, that he doesn’t want to be my friend, or can’t be my friend, this sense of distress will go away.

 

     Or maybe this is my heart redefining friendship, “Red alert, you can still be his friend, even if it’s only in your own head. And, of course, your own heart.” 😉

 

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    Number 9 of the “24 Interludes of Life” as shared on Telling It Like It Is, a site which promotes “things you need to know about raising children, relationships, marriage and parenting.”

 

A careless word may kindle a strife
A cruel word may wreck a life
A timely word may level stress
A lovely word may heal and bless

 

What if all of your words were lovely? 

Two days ago I woke up and looked different. I seemed to have morphed into my Mother overnight.

I actually noticed it as I passed the bathroom mirror at 4 a.m. I dismissed it as sleepy eyes playing tricks on me in the dark, but when Steve remarked the next morning that I looked like my Mom–well there it was, not just staring me straight in the face, but staring others in the face, too. So, what happened over night? What can cause a person to look like his or her self one day and someone else the next day? And why didn’t I wake up looking like Terry Hatcher or Linda Gray (two actresses that others have said I resemble.) Why my Mother?!

I guess it’s no secret why I woke up looking like my Mother–as the commercial goes, “You can’t fool Mother Nature,” the biggest Mother of them all. My question, however, is: why today? Physically, I’m not that much different then yesterday. I didn’t cut my hair into an “old lady” style or gain 20 lbs over night. So I have to wonder what would have my Mom’s face staring out the mirror at me today? Was it the expression? Had I seen that expression on her face before? Am I at a place in my life that matches a stage my Mother went through?

I’m in a relatively new–just coming up to a year–relationship with a man I can see myself growing old with. Whoa–hold the presses. Did I somehow hook up “togetherness” and growing old together in my psyche and alter my physical appearance in doing so? Or is it because my Mom, still married to my wonderful, devoted father wears a certain expression and I’m wearing that expression myself? My facial features couldn’t have changed that much over night, but wasn’t that my Mom’s nose staring back at me in the mirror? And could my expression have changed based on the experiences I’m having with the man in my life?

I do know this different look has caused me to look differently at my life. Why? What caused the shift? And, if I’d stop right now and look in the mirror, who’s face would I see? Is it experience, is it wisdom? Is it knowledge, belief, understanding, acceptance? Is it a cosmic message from my angels to tell me to call my Mom? Is it a reminder of the similarities my Mom and I have, and are they coming to the surface now because of the similarities I have with my 16 year old daughter. (A raving beauty on her own.)

Steve did tell me I’ve been hard on myself this past week. A little more critical of my appearance–of which I don’t give too much thought. I look like I look. And I like how I look. But this whole “different face in the mirror” is causing me to look at my life. I even picked up Marianne Williamson’s new book, The Age of Miracles, about mid-life transition. Just a quick skim of the table of contents tells me we will be lovingly accepting ourselves and morphing our thoughts to living our best life with this new found knowledge. Maybe this is just time’s way of telling me to take a closer look. My Mom has pretty much gotten everything she’s even wanted in life, and at 74, she projects Sophia Loren style beauty.

Have I too–gotten what I want? Or is it time to move toward it? Maybe that’s what I’m looking at. Or what’s looking back at me: the question–what are you waiting for? Are you ready to move forward?

Hmmm, I think I’ll start with a trip to the salon.

Start a love story. Match your friends.

A new ad and website appeared this week–Matchmyfriend.com Brilliant marketing! What you won’t do for yourself you’ll do for your friends—and secretly hope they do it for you. Like a surprise party! Does anyone really appreciate a match-maker? Of course, when they’re not blatant about it. Why not silently arrange a rendezvous? It’s easy to have both people show up in the same location. It’s the darned announcing of “said meeting” that makes everyone uncomfortable. Don’t even start a conversation with “you’ve gotta meet Bob, he’s blah, blah, blah, and perfect for you.” Just leave that in your head, unspoken, and arrange a meeting. If they are “perfect” for each other, then fate will step in and what happens next is unstoppable—because that’s what happens in true love. Something primordial takes over. Call it chemistry; call it passion, but a force all consuming steps in and you’re on a shooting star heading out to heaven. Who doesn’t appreciate a hook-up, no matter where it comes from or who sets it up? It’s just a lot easier to let happen. Love throws its own surprise party.
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