Personal Best Archives - Page 2 of 2

Divine Madness: Your Creative Spark

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

These words, uttered by the Master of Madness, Robin Williams, who’s channeled his spark into a brilliant acting career and charitable life. Remember when he burst on the scene in ‘Mork and Mindy’? Doctors today would label him ADHD, drug him, and ultimately mug him of his Divine Inspiration—the brilliance of the madness of the voices in his head.

I’ve been going a bit “mad” these days. Say it with an English accent and the phrase is fodder for a sit-com. (Ooooo, a sit-com…) See, there goes that voice again! I’m getting ideas most people, including me, would call crazy! My astrologer, Phyllis Firak-Mitz, might attribute it to the SuperMoon and Mercury coming out of retrograde.

I can only attribute it to one thing: there is a character inside me just needing to bust loose. I hope it’s less like a scene from Aliens and more like when Counselor Deanna Troi gave birth to a splendid baby boy with no pain. I’m referring to an episode of Star Trek, The Next Gen, of course…and of my mad idea to write a romance novel that turns into a movie, and a sit-com!

Your Divine Spark is itching to bust through, too!! Don’t deny it. There’s something you’ve thought about, something you’ve wanted to do, some place you’ve wanted to explore—even if you’re spelunking into your computer to unlock the secrets of the internet. Something is calling out to you now. What is it?

If you succumb to your own “spark of madness,” that voice in your head, who would you be? What would you do? Na-noo, Na-noo. (Sorry, couldn’t help myself, Mork and Mindy fans.)

Red Alert! Emotions on Guard

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I’d been crying since I woke-up. I didn’t remember any sad dreams in particular, and yes, I was still dealing with the emotional fall-out of a four and a half year relationship that’d just ended, but to wake-up in such distress didn’t bode well for the day. Not to mention, it was 4:14 am. There was a lot of day left!

Of course I was still sad about the break-up, but the feeling was beyond that. We had broken-up together weeks ago, both acknowledging time on our own, in our own skins, would be good. The transition was tough, and we missed each other terribly so we got together to talk…and somehow ended up further apart. And that’s where we are today, further apart, hence the tears.

But this is bigger than sad; this is true emotional distress. My heart is demanding to be heard, “Red alert! There is something more you need to know, acknowledge, and understand. Red alert! Pay attention; tune in. Red alert! Honor this feeling, figure out the erroneous thought, and the sadness will go away. Red alert! There’s more to this feeling than you’re acknowledging.”

Karla McLaren’s book, Emotional Genius, talks about the healing properties of all emotions—even the “bad” ones. (Ain’t no such thing as a bad emotion, is McLaren’s take.) Anger, sadness, depression, jealousy, hate, rage…all have a story to tell. ALL are expressions of thought. Change the thought and you can change the emotion. Make peace with it and you make peace with yourself.

The two empowering thoughts that sadness brings attention to are: what must be let go of? And, what must change? Obviously WE are the thing that needs to be let go of. That was evident when we met—and that’s good. There’s no going back.

But we didn’t part well. I was hurt, angry, feeling shutdown and misled. I’ve since gotten over those feelings, but something else has me twisted up tight. I want things to be okay between us. And they’re not. Not for me anyway. Something needs to change; someone needs to change, and that someone’s me.

On some level I’m still holding on. Not to us, or even him, but more the thought that we can part amicably. I’m friends with all my Exes (mostly); he and I are suppose to be good friends. Before we got “involved” we promised. After all we’ve shared…

And maybe THAT’s the thought that needs to change. If I simply accept that not all relationships end with friendships, that he doesn’t want to be my friend, or can’t be my friend, this sense of distress will go away.

Or maybe this is my heart redefining friendship, “Red alert, you can still be his friend, even if it’s only in your own head. And, of course, your own heart.” 😉

Travel Time Equals Unravel Time

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Ever notice how some people get all worked up over a little travel? Mention “airport” to a friend of mine and she immediately breaks into a sweat. She hates navigating the check-in and security lines. Abhors having to wade through all the people. She’s so intent on getting from Point A to Point B that she misses the sites entirely—including the beautiful artwork and cultural displays that many airports have provided for the entertainment and engagement of passers-by.

I’m the opposite. I love a road-trip. If that trip includes planes, trains, and automobiles, so much the better. The trick to traveling light and carelessly (without a care) is to: 1) take your heart with you, and 2) leave your cares at home.

Take Your Heart

The people you hold dear need to come with you—metaphorically of course (unless you’re lucky enough to have them as your traveling companions). Your partner, your kids, your best friends, your parents… Figure out a way to connect with them while you’re gone. Texting is a great substitute for a live phone conversation—and often it’s easier than trying to hear in a crowd. Even beyond that, talk with them in your head. Keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Set the point in time when you’ll know you’ll see them again and then vow to enjoy every minute of your adventure until time leads you there. If you keep them fully in your heart and take them with you, you won’t have a driving need to get home. “Home” is with you.

Leave your Cares at Home

It’s amazing what a week away will cure. If it’s a big enough concern, it’ll be waiting for you when you get back, but sometimes “time” works a problem through without you having to do a thing. Being on-the-road is relief from the everyday mundane routine that keeps some people engrossed in their problems and stuck in old thinking. They’re in-a-rut. Travel helps to open up new perspectives. New scenery, unfamiliar streets, unknown restaurants, different faces and places. You just might have a different perspective upon re-entry. What was important before might be insignificant upon your return.

Let go of any preconceived notions on how your trip will go. It’s a stellar day when the weather is fine, the flight is on time, and your rental car has cruise control. But when the challenges set in—delayed flights, turbulent skies, lost reservations, no gps, embrace it and move forward. Your only need is to relax, enjoy the moment, and let your thoughts unravel.

PsychoGeometrics: Please Pass the Ketchup

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There are 4 communication styles: Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. There is a transitional shape, the Rectangle, that complicates the mix, but basically Rectangles are people in transition—a new job or a new relationship, for example. But those Rectangles, for the most part, take on the communication qualities of one of the other four shapes: Squares, Triangles, Circles, or Squiggles.

Want some Ketchup with those Fries?

So let’s say the four shapes are out to lunch together. They all have hamburgers with French fries and they all like ketchup on their fries. Here’s how the scene takes shape:

The Square (the Box actually, because no one likes to be called Square)… The Box will pick-up the ketchup bottle and begin a step-by-step process, thinking to themselves (you will NOT hear this dialogue out loud), “I’d really like ketchup on my fries.”

Step 1: uncap the bottle by twisting the lid with just the proper amount of torqueage,

Step 2: hold the bottle at a 45% angle,

Step 3: apply the correct amount of pressure to the sweet spot and tap the bottle with an even distribution of pressure,

Step 4: wait patiently for ketchup to fall easily and precisely on desired spot,

Step 5: recap the bottle,

Step 6: recall history lesson—“ketchup was invented in 1801 by Sandy Addison whose recipe was later printed in an American cookbook, the Sugar House Book.” REMEMBER, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ANY OF THIS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. BOXES WILL BE THINKING THIS TO THEMSELVES.

Triangles will quickly and emphatically be the first to grab the ketchup bottle and BANG on the bottom until the ketchup comes out. OR, they could just point to someone and say, “YOU–pour me ketchup.”

A Circle will take the ketchup bottle and exclaim loudly, “Oh, I LOVE ketchup on my fries.” They will then talk you through the application process, “But I hate how long it takes. Don’t you?” They’ll tap the bottle and keep talking, “It takes FOREVER to get the ketchup out. When I was a little girl…”(insert long story here that involves a brother/sister or family member). Once a Circle has ketchup, they will offer ketchup to those around them, “Would you like ketchup? How about you, ketchup? Does anyone need ketchup?” They’ll make sure the table is cared for.

The Squiggle will grab a French frie, consider the ketchup bottle, but then scoop a fry-full of ketchup off your plate! OR they might just ask for mustard.

When ordering burgers and fries, think twice about setting your Boxes and Squiggles side-by-side. 😉

PsychoGeometrics: Communication Styles

The first time I listened to PsychoGeometrics by Dr. Susan Dellinger, the lights went on and the bells went off. Dr. Dellinger, using the geometric shapes of squares, circles, rectangles, triangles, and squiggles, simplified communication for me forever. I understood I was a squiggle—and that explained so much! PsychoGeometrics categorized my behaviors and justified them. When others—not like me–criticized the way I spoke or interacted, I only understood I did it differently then they did. I didn’t know my behaviors and actions were a particular “style,” and that there were many others like me!

Let me break it down for you. (And then you really have to check out the PsychoGeometrics website.)

If I were to line the 5 shapes up on the wall, point to the wall across the room and say, “Okay, friends, get to that wall,” here’s what would happen:

The Rectangle, often in a transitional state due to personal upheaval, would adapt. A Rectangle will evolve into and react like one of the other 4 shapes: triangle, square, circle, or squiggle.

The Triangle, the fast-paced project person, will race across the room and reach the wall first. They’ll check their watch and wonder what is taking the other shapes so long to cross the room. The Triangle will wait impatiently for a short time before they’re on to their next task.

The Circle, the slower-paced people person, will unite the team: “Let’s all take hands and cross the room together. Does anyone need a cup of coffee or a light jacket?” The Circle encourages and takes care of each member of their group. Don’t mistake them for gossips; they are open-hearted and kind and great on a team.

The Squiggle, the fast-paced people person, will simply disappear. They’ll eventually end up across the room and on the wall, but they’ll have finished a task or two, and might even have started another on the way. The Squiggle is optimistic, agreeable, and a big picture thinker.

The Square is the last shape to leave the wall. The Square, as a matter of fact, doesn’t have enough information yet to leave the wall. They have questions: at what time should they cross the room and arrive on the other wall? At what point precisely should the stand? How should they get there? Is there a procedure or system in place for crossing the room? The Square needs additional information and time to apply strategic thinking and logic.

When the task is simple—cross the room and get to the opposite wall—the communication styles of the 5 shapes are evident. Those styles are just as obvious in the working world, and it’s easy to know who you’re talking to when you know what behaviors to look for.

Check back for more PsychoGeometrics and how it applies to the social media platforms of Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, MySpace, and You Tube.

A Hand-Up from A Smack-Down

I heard the cry outside my bedroom window this morning about 8. I knew it was a child and they needed help. I ran out the front door and saw the little, blonde-haired girl lying on her tummy crying. She’d tripped and fallen on the concrete walk and her hair was in her eyes. She’d fallen, but she hadn’t gotten up.

I called out and cooed over her, “oh Baby, are you all right? Are you okay?” I tried to comfort her as I picked her up. She was tiny, a kindergartener, I’d bet. I set her on her feet and crouched down low beside her to assess the damage: two slightly skinned palms and one slightly scraped knee. No blood. We gave the knee a rub and gave our hands a shake.

She’d stopped crying and I asked her name. Jade. Was she on the way to school? A nod and an uh-huh. Did she need to go home to see her Mom? No. She was with her sister and friend (who stood watching, with or without concern, I couldn’t tell).

What did I say? I know what I wished I’d said. I wish my “Mother Mary” had kicked in and I’d fussed over her a little more: dried her tears with my sleeve, kissed her little palms and little knee, given her a big hug.

I wish I’d told her she was like a super ball and had great bounce-back ability. That she’d grow up to be a hell-of-a bouncer. Or that she was like Tigger to have a “bouncy-trouncy” day.

I wish I’d shared Clarrisa Pinkola Estes with her: “Refuse to fall down. If you cannot reuse to fall down, refuse to stay down, lift your heart toward heaven like a hungry beggar, ask that it be filled and it will be filled. You may be pushed down. You may be kept from rising, but no one an keep you from lifting your heart toward heaven—only you. It is in the middle of misery that so much becomes clear. The one who says nothing good came of this is not yet listening.”

I wish I’d gone Zen on her 6 yr old ass! “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.”

But I didn’t.

Instead, I calmly said, “It hurts to fall sometimes, doesn’t it.” Jade answered with a nod and another uh-huh. “Just get up and keep going, that’s all you have to do.” That’s what I told her. Life’s most basic lesson during a fall-flat-on-your-face moment; a skin your knee moment. Just get up and keep going. I’m sure if her Mom had been there, she would have told her the same.

“The day gets better from here,” I told her as I sent her off with her sister and friend. It felt good to parent someone else’s kid. If something happens to one of my three kids one day, I hope there will be another Mom there to help.

We all need an occasional hand-up. And tears are allowed! I know it’s my Sagitarius side, but just get up and keep going.

Got a Glimpse of Glory—

Actually, I got an eye-full. It’d been a hell-of-a-night, followed by a hell-of-a-morning. I’d spent the night worrying—and that exhausts the living crap out of you. (Read Lost My Give-a-Shit if you’d like details.) I’d been mining my heart; fretting it, softening it, doubting it, preparing it to receive a greater gift: the gift of Understanding.

I was driving north on I-25, on my way to pick-up my best friend, Kook, and her daughter, Alex, from the airport. They were jetting in from Milan; they’d spent the last two weeks in Italy. It was a typical Rocky Mountain Sunset—spectacular. Oranges and pinks blended in to gray blues and purples. The clouds were stirrin’ up an Earth-Meets-Sky raspberry/grape smoothie.

The ride home was a swirl of conversation, a mix of stories from all of us. As they shared tales of drinking Italian roasted coffee from silver cups on a rose adorned and rose-petal covered patio, on a balcony overlooking the sea, I shared my excitement for the social networking seminar I’d attended, books I’d read on Facebook, Linked-in, and Twitter, updates to my websites, and the blog article I’d posted.

Kook talked of the beauty of the people, and I bemoaned I had no beautiful people to work with—and then I understood! I want beautiful people, with passionate businesses that I can believe in and promote. I want to blog and tweet and book my face off. I want to sit on my tush and earn a living by writing for others—telling their story and engaging in a dialog with their customers. I don’t need a ton of clients. I need two or three with companies or causes I support.

It seams so simple, now that “I got it.” Focus on the beautiful people! There’s no time for doubt. No time to worry. Only time to focus on others. What a glorious thought.

Personal Transformation: Words to Let Go

Our words create our worlds.

Positive affirmations, prayers, spells, whatever you call them, what we speak has a greater potential of turning into reality than the words we don’t speak. That’s why I try hard to never utter words or phrases that I don’t want to come true. And I’ll deny or negate negative phrases when someone idly tosses them my way…like, you’re going to get a speeding ticket–you’re due. Delete, delete–not me!

Here are a few words I’m letting go of–removing from my vocabulary–now:

1. FEAR. I’m letting go of fear in the traditional sense of the anxiety and doubts we focus our thoughts on. Someone once told me FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Translation: A situation only appears fearful because of the interpretations we place on it. I’m changing my interpretation of FEAR to Forgetting Everything’s All Right.

2. WORRY. Worrying is stewing without doing. Worry is also a fear-based emotion. Playing off of Forgetting Everything’s All Right, I’m letting go of the emotional angst of worry. After all, worry is only a question of what’s going to happen in the future. From now on I’m going to “wonder” what will happen. Instead of “I’m worried about what’s going to happen,” I choose to think (and speak) “I WONDER what’s going to happen.” It’s open with positive expectation.

3. BUT. When’s the last time you were “but”ed in a conversation? And how did it make you feel? Negated, right? And how about the popular phrase “yes, but”? It sounds as if someone is agreeing with you but they’re not. They’re negating your words (and consequently your opinion and you). Instead of “but,” why not the word “and”? “Yes, and have you thought of this?” Or, “yes, and I see it this way.” AND is a word that affirms the other while opening them to another way of looking at something. Your way.

Let go of these words and you’ll let go of a bit of negativity.

Personal Best (Page 2)