Transformation Archives - Lindee Brauer

Give Up, Give In, or Give It Your All

Give up, give in, or give it your all. There is power in all three. The challenge is knowing when to do what.

Giving up doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We’ve all been taught: Winners never quit and quitters never win. Well, sometimes winners make the decision to stop. Stop pursing a course of action that’s getting them no where. There is nothing wrong with re-evaluating a situation and deciding it’s time to try a different tactic, angle, or path. Give up. See what happens when you stop pushing so hard.

Giving in can also be a good thing. “Pick your battles” is a popular phrase used when imparting wisdom to people in relationships. Sure, there will be times to stand your ground, but giving in, letting someone else have their way, is one way you can honor, respect, and accept their wishes. If that helps strengthen the relationship, why not give in? Perhaps your partner will be more willing to compromise next time, when you show them how.

Giving it your all…. Now, that’s a good thing. No matter what the outcome, win or lose, when you give a task, or a person, 100% of your focus–your undivided attention–you win. On some level, you both win. (Even though some win-win scenarios don’t make themselves known for years down the road. And they might appear as win-lose in the present.) Some projects and people are worth striving for and fighting for. For giving your all.

As for knowing when to do what? That’s a bit trickier. After all, onlyyou can say “enough is enough.””

Let your heart, mind, body, and spirit be your guide. When all four parts of you are in agreement–give up, give in, or give it your all–that’s the time to take action.

They all begin with “giving.”

A Thanksgivukkah Mash-Up

Thanksgiving and Hanukkah have collided.

I’m paraphrasing an article in USA Today siting the rare convergence of the traditional “festival of eating” with the “festival of lights.” The newspaper called it Thanksgivukkah. The article highlighted the relevance of the new holiday to retail sales, but I’m interested from a cultural perspective.

This combining of words is a telling trend in today’s mash-it-all-together, create-a-new-word-for-it generation. The dictionary calls that linguistic maneuver a portmanteau: a word formed by blending sounds from two or more distinct words and combining their meanings. Lewis Carroll was the first to write about it in Through the Looking-Glass, in 1871. Since then it’s been done thousands of times and frequents our everyday language; take “brunch” for instance, the combination of “breakfast” and “lunch.”

It’s more than simply combining words, however. The new word usually represents the best parts of the original two words and, when combined, is exponentially better—expanding and capitalizing off two ideas as opposed to one. Who would argue that lazy weekend morning aren’t better thanks to brunch?

In the case of Thanksgivukkah, it’s the blending of people, cultures and traditions that creates true meaning behind the new word. It’s a respectful mixing of behaviors and beliefs that honors both distinct holidays. Thanksgivukkah represents two sides coming together to form a synergistic approach to celebration–and life! A distinctual (portmanteau intended: “distinct” mashed into “instinctual”) meme to this generation and time.

Let Thanksgivukkah 2013 be just the beginning! It’s time to combine tried-and-true ideas with new-to-the-market technologies. It’s time to bring opposing forces together and create something even better than the two wholes. It’s time to mash-up all areas and avenues of our lives to move the world forward.

This Thanksgivukkah week we move it forward in peace, celebration, and appreciation.

Quantum Surprises begin by Breaking the Habit

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

by Dr. Joe Dispernza.

Dr. Joe’s a master at simplifying quantum physics so we can understand HOW energy creates our realities. I’m half-way through the book and I’m excited to get to the “how to” exercises. (There are a few realities I’m planning on creating.)

As Yoda would say, “You must unlearn what you have learned.” Breaking the Habit is teaching me why my heart, mind, and body hang on to past experiences—especially the hurts—and continue a feedback loop of stinkin’ thinkin’ that cripples my progress forward. Dispernza refers to it as “re-mind”; when your mind plays the same story again and again.

“The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.” Who said that?

Dipernza’s view is that change creates quantum surprises. And quantum surprises are the Universe’s way of honoring your intention. But you can’t be too specific. You have to anticipate in thought and with feeling specifically what you want, but then you have to let the Universe fill the need.

Break the habit of old thoughts, become very clear in your intent, and stand back and let the energy fall together.

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might get what you need.” That was Mick. J

Do Yoga–3x a week!

The best way to do yoga—3x a week.

It’s a commitment thing really.

If you’ve done yoga, you’re probably nodding your head, but if you never have, you just don’t know…

There is real growth in all that stretching; not just your body, but your mind. It’s like the brain cells elongate with the stretching of the body cells. I reach over my head in Vrksasana (Tree Pose) and I feel every part of my brain expand. I’m able to think farther.

Goodbye stinkin’ thinkin’ and hello brighter tomorrow. A better tomorrow. And that’s just from one class!

Imagine what good I could do with that kind of positive vibe 3 times a week! Why wouldn’t I want to do it 7 times a week?!!

(Yes, I know, a body needs rest. And so does a brain.)

3 times a week…it’s like compound interest on good vibes, where the principle keeps increasing and so does your well-being.

The best way to do yoga? 3 times a week, this week, next week, and every week after.

Who knows where a good stretch could lead me? 😉

“What the Hell” is Always the Right Answer

‘Ever notice how “what the hell” is always the right answer?”

Marilyn Monroe

And why not? The answer begins with the question and comes full circle.

“What the hell” is an open-ended question. The intensity of the expression implies a breach of belief has already occurred: you witness something for the first time, someone shares a confidence and changes your perspective… “What the hell?” translated is: I need more information.

What the hell? As in, ‘what the hell just happened?’

What IN hell will also suffice as an appropriate question. Again, a request for more information. (Don’t worry your mind with where “Sam Hell” is for now.)

The challenge is to embrace the “answer” with the same enthusiasm as the question. Believe it, open to it; assimilate, alter, and adapt the information you get from the question into your consciousness and use it to make decisions—stronger decision, now.

“What the hell” is always the right question…and when a logical answer alludes you, “what the hell” is always an appropriate response.

No need for a “right” answer. No need to avoid a “wrong” answer. No need to take sides or play favorites. Do as Marilyn did–go with an ubiquitous response. Play ‘open and in need of convincing.’ Go with “what the hell.”

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It’ll All Be Okay in the End

Apply this to every unresolved situation or relationship in your life:

It’ll ALL be Okay in the End.

If it’s NOT Okay, it’s NOT the End.

Time to rest easy and let the Universe work its magic.

T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak

Truth. Truth is in the eye (or brain) of the beholder. One person’s truth is not another’s truth. And, just because it’s true for you does not make it true for me. Can you really know truth for yourself, let alone another?

Helpful. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” How many times has friendly, “helpful” advice been misinterpreted and twisted into tangled, hurt feelings? Even suggestions given with an open, loving heart can be misconstrued. “Helpful” is also in the mind of the beholder. Just because it’s helpful to YOU, does not mean it’s helpful to ME.

Inspiring. If you want to inspire me, keep your words to yourself and SHOW me. Lead by example and I’ll naturally be inspired. Who are you and where are you going?

Necessary. Who determines that? Who are you to question my path, my purpose, my motives or my actions? Sure, if I’m walking too closely to the ledge and I’m in eminent danger, I might need a course correction. But who’s to say a fall (or a leap) from that ledge is not the best action for me?

Kind. “If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.” Words of wisdom by parents, teachers, educators, and philosophers alike, all extolling the virtues of saying nice things to each other. THIS one I believe in and this one I practice. And practice is truly the word, because this is hard to do. Unkind words, mean-spirited and abusive, don’t just hurt the person they’re directed toward, but the person saying them as well. We’re all familiar with the “I’m rubber and you’re glue” defense when someone says something that hurts.

When someone says something unkind to you, however, it’s because they think they’re speaking the TRUTH. They think they’re being HELPFUL—and INSPIRING. And, they probably think the words are NECESSARY—for your own good.

But what you really have—when you THINK before you speak—is a whole lot of judgment being wrapped up in a KIND words burrito. It doesn’t matter what kind of flavorful, colorful wrapper you’re serving up or what kind of watered-down words you’re using, judgment still comes through—and that’s what truly hurts.

Perhaps we should go one step further: If you can’t THINK of anything nice, then don’t think anything at all.

Red Alert! Emotions on Guard

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I’d been crying since I woke-up. I didn’t remember any sad dreams in particular, and yes, I was still dealing with the emotional fall-out of a four and a half year relationship that’d just ended, but to wake-up in such distress didn’t bode well for the day. Not to mention, it was 4:14 am. There was a lot of day left!

Of course I was still sad about the break-up, but the feeling was beyond that. We had broken-up together weeks ago, both acknowledging time on our own, in our own skins, would be good. The transition was tough, and we missed each other terribly so we got together to talk…and somehow ended up further apart. And that’s where we are today, further apart, hence the tears.

But this is bigger than sad; this is true emotional distress. My heart is demanding to be heard, “Red alert! There is something more you need to know, acknowledge, and understand. Red alert! Pay attention; tune in. Red alert! Honor this feeling, figure out the erroneous thought, and the sadness will go away. Red alert! There’s more to this feeling than you’re acknowledging.”

Karla McLaren’s book, Emotional Genius, talks about the healing properties of all emotions—even the “bad” ones. (Ain’t no such thing as a bad emotion, is McLaren’s take.) Anger, sadness, depression, jealousy, hate, rage…all have a story to tell. ALL are expressions of thought. Change the thought and you can change the emotion. Make peace with it and you make peace with yourself.

The two empowering thoughts that sadness brings attention to are: what must be let go of? And, what must change? Obviously WE are the thing that needs to be let go of. That was evident when we met—and that’s good. There’s no going back.

But we didn’t part well. I was hurt, angry, feeling shutdown and misled. I’ve since gotten over those feelings, but something else has me twisted up tight. I want things to be okay between us. And they’re not. Not for me anyway. Something needs to change; someone needs to change, and that someone’s me.

On some level I’m still holding on. Not to us, or even him, but more the thought that we can part amicably. I’m friends with all my Exes (mostly); he and I are suppose to be good friends. Before we got “involved” we promised. After all we’ve shared…

And maybe THAT’s the thought that needs to change. If I simply accept that not all relationships end with friendships, that he doesn’t want to be my friend, or can’t be my friend, this sense of distress will go away.

Or maybe this is my heart redefining friendship, “Red alert, you can still be his friend, even if it’s only in your own head. And, of course, your own heart.” 😉

A Beautiful Girl and Colorful World

The World Is Grey

A poem by Justin Brauer

The words that spilled out of her mouth were colorful, beautiful, inspiring. As they spill from her soft lips they pass through the microphone, out of the speakers and splash out upon the crowd as these colorful words hit the ears of eager listeners. The words pass in one ear as colorful as the next, but as they pass through they come out dull and just words, like the world.

Inside the heads of the eager listeners are seas of color, individuality, creation, creativity. The sea of colors become so large and abrupt that every color leaks out from their eyes, seeping in every combination of colors possible showing the crowds’ true colors. Showing how words can change a person, a crowd, a nation.

The nation explodes of color from one girl’s soft, beautiful, colorful words. Igniting a revolution of color, an eruption of every color possible from every one spilling color back to the dull colorless world.

PsychoGeometrics: Please Pass the Ketchup

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There are 4 communication styles: Squares, Triangles, Circles, and Squiggles. There is a transitional shape, the Rectangle, that complicates the mix, but basically Rectangles are people in transition—a new job or a new relationship, for example. But those Rectangles, for the most part, take on the communication qualities of one of the other four shapes: Squares, Triangles, Circles, or Squiggles.

Want some Ketchup with those Fries?

So let’s say the four shapes are out to lunch together. They all have hamburgers with French fries and they all like ketchup on their fries. Here’s how the scene takes shape:

The Square (the Box actually, because no one likes to be called Square)… The Box will pick-up the ketchup bottle and begin a step-by-step process, thinking to themselves (you will NOT hear this dialogue out loud), “I’d really like ketchup on my fries.”

Step 1: uncap the bottle by twisting the lid with just the proper amount of torqueage,

Step 2: hold the bottle at a 45% angle,

Step 3: apply the correct amount of pressure to the sweet spot and tap the bottle with an even distribution of pressure,

Step 4: wait patiently for ketchup to fall easily and precisely on desired spot,

Step 5: recap the bottle,

Step 6: recall history lesson—“ketchup was invented in 1801 by Sandy Addison whose recipe was later printed in an American cookbook, the Sugar House Book.” REMEMBER, YOU WILL NOT HEAR ANY OF THIS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. BOXES WILL BE THINKING THIS TO THEMSELVES.

Triangles will quickly and emphatically be the first to grab the ketchup bottle and BANG on the bottom until the ketchup comes out. OR, they could just point to someone and say, “YOU–pour me ketchup.”

A Circle will take the ketchup bottle and exclaim loudly, “Oh, I LOVE ketchup on my fries.” They will then talk you through the application process, “But I hate how long it takes. Don’t you?” They’ll tap the bottle and keep talking, “It takes FOREVER to get the ketchup out. When I was a little girl…”(insert long story here that involves a brother/sister or family member). Once a Circle has ketchup, they will offer ketchup to those around them, “Would you like ketchup? How about you, ketchup? Does anyone need ketchup?” They’ll make sure the table is cared for.

The Squiggle will grab a French frie, consider the ketchup bottle, but then scoop a fry-full of ketchup off your plate! OR they might just ask for mustard.

When ordering burgers and fries, think twice about setting your Boxes and Squiggles side-by-side. 😉